Slip, Knit... Meditate....

The Benefits of being a Teacher....

2012-01-26T06:11:00.000-08:00

Today I had to go to a trainee in Loosdrecht. I left early, because traffic in the direction Amsterdam usually is very busy. But I arrived right in time and the talk with my student and the firm was good very interesting.
Before arriving in Loosdrecht is a signpost with the name: Zonnestraal Turn Left. So on the way back to Deventer I decided to go and see Zonnestraal.
Zonnestraal is one of the most famous buildings designed in 1925 by Architect Jan Duiker. It is a good example from "het Nieuwe Bouwen".
I always wanted to see this building...but for some reason this has never happened.
It was rainy and misty when arriving, but the first vieuw was overwhelming.
The buildings is used as Sanatorium in the past. Nowadays a lot of HealthCare Instituts have taken over the place.
I had a coffee in the restaurant (totally not matching with the building!!!)and off I went to explore....
The view on the round staircases...

I went up the stairs...

Up the stairs the view was even better...

So I walked round and imagined how it must have been to stay there when you were suffering from Tuberculoses. The fresh air, the balconies where you could rest outside and the clear and open buildings. All so different from the Dark Architecture in previous years. Must have been a totally new Look on Life and how the enviroment also helps to cure.
The details as this little balcony..

The rhythm of the windows..all with steal window frames.

Till 1957 the building was used as Sanatorium. After that is was used as a hospital till 1993.
Than only one building was used and the rest got in a very bad state.

Restauration is still going on..This pavilion is now under construction.

The typography from the letters is from the time the building was made.
It was really a joy to walk around and see this beautiful building in real..Must be really nice to see the building in sunshine with blue sky..Than you probably see much more of the splendor of this Architactural Work of Art..
So one of the benefits of being a teacher is that sometimes after work is done, you can visit a place like Zonnestraal..

Knitting
Amost done with my Riddari..About 8 rows to go..than finishing and a soak. Picture will appear probably in my next post. Must finish it soon, because it will get colder the coming days. I can tell you that it fits perfect, looks good on me..and that the colours really match together...
Inbetween i did start a little project..The Muckle Mitts by Mary Jane Mucklestone. Just some left over yarns I had in my stash. It's a fun knit. They will make nice gifts. I am knitting 2 pairs and perhaps some more..

I also booked a class with Ysolda. Hope she can learn me some more tricks. I have met her once on a holiday on the Shetlands..and she was sitting opposite me during lunch in the Shetland Museum.

This afternoon Bram and I are going to the hospital. A talk with a Psychologist to get us a Case manager. He or she will help us with the things we need to make life as good as possible for the both of us...

Spring in Winter.....

2012-01-15T08:06:00.000-08:00

This afternoon I made a walk among the flooded river Ijssel. Almost every year this happens and sometimes event the road gets flooded. The sun was shining...a blue sky..and not cold at all. There were beautiful reflections in the river..

It felt like Spring in early January. Strange that Winter still hasn't arrived here. So different from last winter when we had weeks with snow and cold temperatures and warm and wooly garments were very needed. I love a real Cold winter. Guess I am more a Nordic ~~Boy~~ Man. Now I hardly wear warm sweaters or cardi's and my new scarf is still waiting to be worn.
But hopefully it will get colder so I can wear my Lopiseya. I have started the yoke and now the fun part has started. The colors go well together and I think it will look good on me.

To get even more in a Nordic Mood we have started watching The Killing.

Set in Copenhagen (such a great city to go, have been there many times and it feels sort of home to me) it is a very good and exiting film. And ofcourse the sweater from Sarah Lund is a great example how traditional patterns can look stunning and modern. There are 3 variations..

Pattern from the Scarlet one can be found here.
Hand-knit on the Faroe Islands by Gudrun & Gudrun this sweater is a big Hit. On Ravelry you can find the chart and maybe one day I might knit one myself so I can look like the brother from Sarah Lund. The shop also sells these great Red shoes made from Fish Skin

...Who knows...I am sure they would look GREAT on me..

Because of this warm weather nature is a bit confused. In our garden Tulip leaves are peeping out of the ground..

and even a Snowdrop is in bloom...and behind a purple Crocus can be seen...Strange this Spring in Winter...

This and That...
Last week our neighbour brought us a little gift. A recycled card press out elephant from Muji (one of my favourite shops, pity there is no one in the Nehterlands).

I have always loved making things like this so it was a joy to make..and here he is...our new pet..

Our private life is getting a little bit back to normal. Bram has had his first lesson in walking with the walker. We got a phonecall from the hospital in Nijmegen that a Casemanager was found for us, so we will get a meeting with him or her soon... and we try to live as normal as we did. I am back at work and we are trying not to look too much into the future...
Time for a glass of wine now..perhaps the 3th part of the Killing and later a Stew for Dinner...
Bought those Daffodils yesterday at the market... Not only Spring outside but also Inside..

Knit on.....

2012-01-08T06:31:00.000-08:00

My favourite Quote ever since I came across my Knitting Hero Elizabeth Zimmerman.....
Knitting always has helped me in difficult moments in my life. It calms me down... and everything gets in the right perspective..and it is nice to make something beautiful for someone else of for myself...

Life is not always easy at the moment. It sometimes feels hard to deal with. But, last week Thursday we have had a good meeting in the Radboud Hospital with a social psychiatric nurse (not sure if this is the correct translated name for her). We will get a Casemanager in our City who is going to help us to come through the proces. He or she can organize things which will make it also for the both of us a little lighter. When we left hospital we felt a little better and lighter, but still...the outlook is not easy. We got a big compliment from her because of the way we are talking about it. Being open and honest has always been a point in our life, so also with this topic we have this attitude. Guess we are doing it the way we want it sofar. It will get heavier in the future , but we are not too much thinking about that..
Things will change... Bram has bought a walker....

Walking with it is very difficult for him. This Tuesday he will get "WalkerLesson" with the help of a physiothearpist. In Nijmegen thay made the suggestion to have these lessons also close to our home. He than can make little strolls in town and rest inbetween on the seat. This will be good for his condition.. It will help him to feel a little more certain and stable. Cross my fingers for that...and I must get over the feeling of kind of shame to walk next to him. Sounds strange perhaps, but it is true. Time heals... Will take time..and hopefully if I see a positive change in his mobility I will get over it...
Till now the walker is used as a kind of Sidetable...

We even got the suggestion to do things we like and do things we want. So, if possible we have the plan to go to Scotland in May to visit our dear friend Birgitta who lives near Glencoe. As a strange coincidence we got a big pile of Scotland Magazines from our neighbour last Thursday-evening.

Big Sign I think...so hopefully we can go. Ireland will be a step to far...

Tomorrow work starts again. So with some of my new clothes and my new shoes wearing it might be OK...

Or this pair...couldn't resist the orange shoelaces. Makes it a little less classic...

Make Do and Mend
I am always very attached to my garments and throwing away is always difficult. I love my shirts... So, I have found the solution for shirts with a hole in the elbow. I am going to patch them and wear them even longer.
Last Friday I took my Acne shirt with me to my studio. With a little piece of Liberty fabric I had bought years ago and my sewingmachine this is the result..

I have the plan to do this with all my shirts who need repair. They will be very personal and last longer. Must be nice to do it with real old vintage fabrics.Might search for that. Make Do and Mend will be my Mantra this year.

I did start this post with a Knitting Quote. I have finished my New Hat.

I like the result...but still Winter hasn't arrived, so no need to wear it.

And my Lopiseya is getting a step further.

The bodypart is almost done (still not sure about the lenght, might knit some more rows..) One sleeve done, the other on the needles. I have used different colours for the little + in the border of body and sleeves. It is a nice and fun knit, but I am already looking forward to the yoke-fun-part. Must be nice to wear it instead of a coat..

Couldn't resist those tulips yesterday on the market.

A little sign of Spring...

Last Post of 2011....Alaïa and More...

2011-12-31T06:54:00.000-08:00

This is the last blogpost from 2011. I just wrote on Facebook that this Month wasn't my favourite and that I speak a lot of people who have the same. It will be a calm evening together at home. Bram is way too tired to celebrate and all I want to do is: knit, sipping wine and enjoying eachothers company. I am not in the mood for a party...which is fine to me...

Yesterday we went to Groningen so see Jim and his parents. It was lovely as always. I had planned to go to the Groninger Museum to see the exhbition from Azzedine Alaïa. So Karin lend me her bike and off I went. The sun was shining and it was my first time to cycle through the City Centre. Really enjoyed it. I was really looking forward to see the exhibition because ever since the days I studied fashion I am a big Fan of his work.

I have seen both exhibition from Alaïa but this was was for me not the best one. The first one was exiting, this one is rather dull and boring to watch. Just Dollies placed in the exhibition spaces: No explanation, No combination with Art (as the previous one with works by Basquiat).....

The garments ofcourse are Stunning.

Beautiful made and what a Craftmanship! The perfection is breath-taking:
the Fabrics,

the Details,

the Shape,

the Embroideries,

the Elegance and Sexy without Slutty...

Real Haute Couture...

All Beautiful..

But because of the lack of a good presentation it became...Well, a bit boring at the end...It was just not enough to keep me exited till the end.

Everything made possibly size 34 or even slimmer...That's another point. I am not fighting for bigger sizes now, but this for me was a bit too slim. Yes, I know garments look usually better on smaller sizes, but..I wonder what idea Aläia has about woman. Might buy the catalogue next time I will visit the exhibition with my class..Perhaps I can read it there.

This holiday for me is about relaxing. We had a lovely dinner at our neighbours. There is plenty of time for knitting. I did finish my new hat: The Habitat by BrooklynTweed.

Shelter is a nice yarn to work with. It is spun very airy and gets really soft after a soak.
Suddenly a little into cabling, so the Knotty but Nice hat is now on the needles in Madeline Tosh DK yarn

and I am ofcourse knitting on my Lopapeysa...

I hope to meet up with you all soon in 2012. XXX Jan

A Different Christmas...

2011-12-25T08:08:00.000-08:00

It is Christmas today and we are together at home. Holiday did start on Friday and I am 2 weeks off. This morning I made Red Orange Curd to fill a just baked simple Cake. Whenever I feel out of balance I start baking and today is not an exception.
This Christmas is not as it used to be. It is different because we got not good news from the hospital about 10 days ago. After that I was not in the mood anymore to buy a tree and decorate it with my knitted Christmas balls. Just 2 candles are lighted in the window every evening. Christmas day is just a day passing by....

In the beginning of November we went for research to the Radboud Academic Hospital in Nijmegen. Bram's situation had become worse. Very tired all day and his mobility was and is very weak. Because we didn't had any trust in the hospital in our City we had to take this step. After half a day testing they had the idea to search in the direction of problems in the veins of his brain. It needed more research so we had to go back for a whole day of tests and a scan from his head.
3 weeks later we got the results.
Some little veins in his brain are damaged and also the part which takes care of Mobility is damaged. The part which is about remembering (short and long term) is also damaged. His tiredness comes out of the fact that everything takes a lot of energy.
The results of this all will be a combination from vascular dementia and Alzheimer and he is at the startingpoint of it. I hadn't expected this esspecially when the word Alzeheimer was mentioned. My mother passed away of vascular dementia, but I hadn't combined it with Bram's vain problems. We will get help from all different directions and organizations in the future. Friends and neighbours are very supportive. I feel blessed with so many loving and caring people around us.

Since that day I feel my and our life is tumbling again. Ever since he had his first operation 5 years ago we have the feeling that we are loosing the battle and we definitely can't win this one.
Some days go well, some days there are tears and some days it is like normal days we had. But there is always a shadow around us. It is hard to deal with. The future is uncertain (we don't know how fast or slow it will go) and certain (we will loose at the end). One important feeling is still there: the Great Love we feel for eachother. It is almost 29 years ago we met. Every now and than it feels like yesterday, but thinking of it there are such great memories to cherish. I am very easy into tears these days. It just has to go out every now and than to keep healthy.

It is not easy to write this down. Writing about the pleasant aspects of life is much easier. Being open about our life has always been a topic in our life. So this aspect won't be held behind closed doors.

We had our yearly Street Dinner a week ago. And I did a little speech to tell everyone what is going on with Bram. It was hard to tell, emotions were running ofcourse, but everyone was so supportive and we felt so much love and care around us.
I had baked little puff cakes filled with Cementine and Cointreau Curd mixed with Mascapone.

Recipe makes about 750 g:
Juice and zest 4 large clementines (enough to make 125ml)
Juice and zest 1 lemon
4 large eggs , beaten
125g golden caster sugar
125g unsalted butter, diced
1 tablespoon Cointreau

Put all ingredients, exept the Cointreau, into a heatproof bowl set over a pan of gently simmering water. Stirring constantly, cook for 20/25 minutes so so until the curd is very thick and coats the back of a wooden spoon. Stir in the Cointreau and let it cool down.

Today I made a twist by using BloodOranges and I know you can also make Lemon or Lime curd in the same way.

With Christmas I always by red Tulips and yesterday I have bought a nice cookbook too. It is called Home Made Winter and I love it. Simple recipes from Ireland, France and Holland and I am defenitely cooking from it..

I did start this post with a picture from a button. Knitting has helped me so much over the years. I am working on several projects and the latest one I finished is my New Winter Scarf.

It was a Simple and Mindless knit and it looks great on my Wintercoat. The only problem is that the Cold hasn't arrived yet...

My ChristmasHolidayKnit is a real Lopapeysa..Strange word for an Icelandic sweater. I have had one in the late 70's knitted by me and my Mum, but that one has disappeared strangely..So a revival was needed and I have cast on a new one in red, dark purple, green, blue and grey.

No, I didn't fancy one in natural colours...but this is the pattern..

I am aware that this is a post can be hard to read....but please don't worry...we are dealing the best we can... and despite the fact that he is very tired we still have plenty to talk and laugh about...Time to fill my cake now and prepare for Dinner...

With Love from Me

Tumbling.....

2011-11-11T08:37:00.001-08:00

And just as we thought the reason was found for Bram's healthproblems....it is all tumbling again....
In the Radboud hospital we visited yesterday they found out that the Lym wasn't active...disapponting...

After talks, tests and some research they are thinking of problems in the veins in his brain. More research in 2 weeks time when we have to go back to Nijmegen again.

It is not an easy proces we are in at the moment. We want to know the reason, but the outcome can be hard to deal with...

It is weekend now...time to think, talk and be silent...

Meeting up with The Boys....But first something Important...

2011-11-09T11:07:00.000-08:00

Just before I had the plan of writing a blog about the Great Meeting Up with Arne & Carlos (the 2 famous Julekuler-Boys from Norway) we got a telephonecall from our doctor. The results from Bram's bloodtests show that he has the Lyme Disease and that his Vitamin D is very Low. That might explain a lot from his current situation. Tomorrow we have an appointment in the Radboud Hospital in Nijmegen - we had asked for a fresh vieuw on things last week and got a very quick appointment - and this bloodtest- result might speed up the things. I know it can't be cured, but hopefully they can do something so that might feel a bit better than he is now..

Relief in a way, but I suddenly felt so out of balance this afternoon. Tears were running and I guess it is a reaction on all the months of uncertainty and the frustration that nothing was found.

But the title of this blog also is: Meeting up with The Boys..and by "Boys" I mean: Arne & Carlos. They have started the big kniting-trend: JuleKuler..and their Book looks so inviting to start knitting....It is a Big Hit all around the Globe...

Last Sunday I first met up in Amsterdam with my Knittingfriends Yvonne, Dagmar and Sandra for coffee and a delicious Lemon Tartelette at Gebr. Niemeijer.Thereafter we went to the Departmentstore "De Bijenkorf" to met up with Arne & Carlos for booksigning and knitting ofcourse.
We have had a very funny afternoon. I guess it was expected that not many people would come, but the reality was that it was very busy. We immediately took a big table, started knitting, talking and laughing.
We more or less felt kind of Groupies. After a while they came to our table and we found out that they are really very nice anbd friendly.
My book was signed...

We saw them knitting....

They showed the latest Design for World Aids Day...

We knitted ofcourse...

We saw them talking...behind a Huge JuleKuluer

I saw the bag and asked how I could purchase one....

I gave them my adress and they promised me to send one...
But alsmost at the end...I got the one from Arne...

A bit of Jealousy appeared....I can imagine...

And NO...this one is NOT FOR SALE.
I donated 3 Balls for Serious Request and I hope they make a lot of Money...

So.. WE HAD A BALL!!!!
And more Balls will come....

Bye Lace...Hello Fair Isle..

2011-10-31T12:21:00.000-07:00

I have been bitten by the Lace bug for many Months now...but suddenly it was enough and time to move on...My last lace shawl is this one. It is the Dew Drops Shawl and you can find the pattern here.

Knitted in a very slippery ,but very soft alpaca yarn. I like the result very much.

This afternoon my dear friend Mechtild will get it as a gift. We know eachother since Artschool and kept in contact over the years. So a longtime known friend and every now and than we meet up. We always start talking from were we finished last time. Hopefully she will wear it at the the christening ceremony from her niece next week in Romania. Imagine the scene her bringing in the baby and wearing this shawl.

But..enough Lace-knitting for the moment... Time to move on into.... Fair Isle.....and..into a big project immediateley. When I saw this vest in the Spring issue from Twist Collective I bought it. At that time not sure when or how I would knit it..but I just fell in love with it. That summer - while having a holiday at the Shetland Isles - I met up very unexpectedly with the designer Mary Jane Mucklesone. It was during lunch and all of a sudden it became clear to me that she was the woman who designde that lovely vest. We also had in common that we both love Marimekko and at that day I was wearing my all time favourite striped Marimekko shirt.

She is -next to being a very talented knitwear-designer- a very lovely person. Hopefully we can meet up again in the future. Her book: 200 Fair Isle Motifs: A Knitter's Directory just came out and is already on my list.

So, while on Shetland I bought yarn for my biggest Fair Isle Project so far. I had done a little stranded knitting..some gloves.. but never a real big piece. That winter: nothing happened..the yarn stayed in the bag and so was next winter..No Fair Isle..Nothing like that..It was Lace, Lace and more Lace.
But a few weeks ago, while knitting on the white shawl, I suddenly had enough of lace. A challenge...that's what I wanted. A real challenge. Suddenly "The Bag" came in sight and out came the balls of beautiful coloured J&S yarn.

So I did cast on while remembering MaryJane telling me that it was better to take 1 size smaller than I used to have.

And than....Addiction started. It is kind of magical to knit Fair Isle. Not very difficult at all: only 2 colours in 1 row. But the thing I really like is that not 1 row is the same. The colours I had chosen suddenly became something I didn't expect to happen.

But one thing could have been different perhaps. The 2 blue colours do not have enough contrast.

I had the idea to change it in the next repeat of the pattern..perhaps purple with blue, but I am not sure if it will look good. Maybe it is better to leave it this way and continue.I am still thinking about it. In the mean time I did cast on the Endpaper Mitts in Green and RedPurple Rauma FinUllgarn I had in my stash. Just something simple I can take with me to work and knit a few rows during a break.

Autumn...Time to Knit....

2011-10-09T07:02:00.000-07:00

Autumn has arrived with rain and wind. Guess I have always loved that season. After a nice After-Summer with plenty of sunshine and the little trip to Italy I am totally up for evenings at home knitting seasonal items. I still have a lace shawl on the needles.

A long project and last night I made a mistake. Didn't read the pattern properly.....Now I have to rip out half a needle and that needs concentration. Will do that tonight..no talking please...

During my Italy trip I found out that knitted garments are still very fashionable. In Milan this window display at Stefanel got my attention.

Benneton showed yarnballs moving in their window...

and I did buy this bag for Evelien as a birthday-gift.

Yeah...I know..I could have knitted it myself, but this was rather tempting for me...

But there was more...Much more. This hand knit sweater in cashmere at Hermes caught my eye.

Way to expensive, but an interesting pattern. At home I placed a question -how to make knit this pattern- on the forum from the Dutch Crafters group on Ravelry. An interesting discussion did follow and thanks to Agnes aka Stekelbakske I can show the pattern here. Thanks again Agnes!!

This is in my opinion one of the great things of Ravelry. Sharing information. You can place a topic on a forum and a solution for a problem is immediately at the horizon. How did we manage in the past without Ravelry I often wonder....
I am definitely going to try it out and perhaps use it in the front of a cardi I would like to knit in J&S yarn...

Last week I visited the just opened exhibition "Ontrafelt" in Museum Twentse Welle in Enschede (very convenient, it is the city I work. This exhibition was first showed in the MoMu in Antwerp and now a big sellection is shown in Enschede. One word: Wonderfull and we are planning to go there with all students. Just some pictures here from items I loved.

The little lace dress by Vivienne Westwood.

Black and White by Dirk van Saene.

2 Sweaters: on the left the very architectural work by Sandra Backlund and on the right by one of my all time favourite designers Martin Margiela.
Must go back now to Milan because I did visit his shop in the Via della Spiga.

An amazing shop. Shelves made out of books, White all over and beautiful crafted garments. Not allowed to take pictures inside unfortunately. His garments always makes me exited. There is something in it which is hard to discribe. History, Basics, Attention for details, craftmanship. I would love to wear his clothes...but...prices are a bit high for me...

Milan... that was really an exiting afternoon with 2 colleagues. The shop from Blumarine with the green tables with pink roses outside..

Moschino with a Postcard from Paris and Love letters on the floor...

Glamour at Dolce & Gabbana

Even the banisters were covered with a silk fabric.. For me a bit too much over the top..

But than...after all the luxury came the new Shop from Pirelli. The brand famous for rubber tires and the famous calendar.Just opened 3 days before we came.. A little film can be seen here and the falling water projected on the floor was simply amazing. I hardly did dare to step onto it...

Every now and than I can get very exited about things happening in the fashion world and this was one of those moments. Such a great concept.. the wall with yellow wellingtons.

The lamps used normally in cars..
The racingcar above the men garments.

And the effective, simple presentation of the coats...
Next time I have to buy a coat over there...

But..back to Autumn..
Did bake a cake with plums yesterdayafternoon.

Nothing can beat the smell of a freshly baked cake. Time for tea now and a slice ofcourse..

Day 7. Back Home....

2011-09-24T01:25:00.001-07:00

3.30 hrs. Wake up. Shower. Coffee.
4.00 hrs. Left the hotel. Minibus.
4.45 hrs. Arrival Venice Airport.
6.00 hrs. Cappucino & Fagotto.
6.20 hrs. Airplane KLM.
                Windowseat 17F.
6.45 hrs. Departure Venice.
                Plane fully booked.
                It gets light outside.
                Arrivederci Italia.
7.05 hrs. The Alps in the morningsun.
                Sleepy.
7.20 hrs. Sandwich, juice and tea
                served by friendly gay
                stewards.
                Dalida sings her
                sentimental songs in my ear.
7.45 hrs. More tea. Calm flight.
                Dalida sings: Mama.
8.15 hrs. Flying over Ijsselmeer
8.18 hrs. Marken & Monnickendam.
                Landing starts.
8.27 hrs. Landed at Schiphol Airport.
                Welcome to Amsterdam.

10.12 hrs.
Changed in Amersfoort. 2 stops and I am home.

Dalida still sings in my ear.

Suddenly unexpected tears.
It was a great experience to be in Italy with wonderfull colleagues. I felt at home with them. Lots of energy. Intense talks about life. Sharing life stories. It was nice I could talk about the situation I am dealing with. Good laughter. Great fun and serious moments. Interesting visits and meeting ups.

Inspirational is the best word for it...
And the best coffee and food ofcourse...
Going home this way is the best way one can have.

10.47. Deventer

Day 6. Milano....and More Milano...and More to come...

2011-09-23T23:38:00.001-07:00

20.10 hrs. We just left Milan Railwaystation. Little less than 2 hours to go back to Vicenza. Last day, last evening. Great Memories.
Just some pictures...from the Pret a Porter Fashion Fair..Chocolat cake with crema con fragole....and the Duomo...

More to come soon..Via della Spiga...Wait till you see the pictures from the 3 days ago opened Pirelli shop. Absolutely Amazing!!!

Lots of fun and laughter during the trip back to Vicenza in a very comfortable train.

We arrived in Vicenza round 22.50 hrs. Taxi to the hotel...

In the hotel we said goodbye to translator Manuel who was a great help during the week.
We all got a little book from the region and a little bag with hazelnuts from the familytree in his garden. Might bake a plumcake sprinkled with chopped hazelnuts.
A last Spritz, a last talk.... and off to bed for a very short night sleep...

Day 5. Venezia....

2011-09-22T21:38:00.001-07:00

20.40 hrs. Venice, Railwaystation.
We just caught the train back to Vicenza.

Venice, Venezia, Bella...

We arrived by train round 11 this morning. The last time I was in Venice was about 15 years ago.
First we had a meeting at the Ministerio. Very formal and probably not very usefull, but...typical the Italian way...

Round 13 hrs...lunch with a foccacia. A small group of 5 (included me) stayed in Venice. We took the vaporetto to San Marco Square. The Canal Grande..The Palazzo's..the colours..all kind of boats...Breathtaking..

All we did was..walk and enjoy..bought a beautiful wool tricot jacket....terrace...walk more..took pictures...more pictures....a Spritz...dinner at a little square where only locals came....

And than...we left with beautiful memories..

Some pictures here...much more on my camera....

Day 4. Marzotto

2011-09-21T22:40:00.001-07:00

Marzotto is a big textilefirm in Valdagno. The produce mostly fabrics for men suits. Big brands as Valentino & Armani buy the fabrics at Marzotto and the fabric usually is woven esspecially for them.

Arriving at the firm I got the feeling as arriving in a small city. Not a strange idea, because the Marzotto family did build houses where the workers could live.
It is a huge firm, established 175 years ago.

We got a tour around the factory to see the whole proces from building up the warp and weft till the final product. Very interesting was to feel the woven fabric before and after finishing. Soft and Delicate, Light and Airy in typical colours men like. Dyes in bottles computerized mixed together to get the right colour. Mixtures from silk and wool, 100% merino etc.

After the tour -which took hours - we had lunch outside. Spaghetti and a good cappucino afterwards. It was warm, which is strange for this time of year as we were told.

After lunch we visited the Marzotto textile school and museum. The museum showed all stages of weaving fabric from a historic point of vieuw. Old fabrics, hand drawn designs, patterns and new fabrics with a Palladian theme based on the famous buildings from Palladio. Would be nice to have a modern chair covered with that fabric.

Interesting was the adverts Marzotto made during the fascist time. No judging now please!!! It is also part of the history from a country. Marzotto did advertize in fascist magazines. The fight against communism with the symbol of the bear wearing a cap with a red star. The black and brown suit. Brown was the colour of fascism.

But one must realize that when they hadn't done that at the time the whole factory would be closed and the whole community would have lost their work. In my opinion it is always easy to comment on this from the comfortable situation nowadays. Ofcourse I am very against the idea of fascism, but the question always is: would you be brave enough to stand up against it and risking your life? I hope to be brave...but I can't say 100% that I would say No..and who is so sure of him/herself?? I personally hope that I will not come in such a difficult situation.

We than drove back to Vicenza for a final meeting at CPV and a presentation from a new fashion community on the Internet. Till now my mind is spinning with new ideas thanks to all I have seen, heared, discussed and thought. It definitely is not a holiday. The days are "full". You get tired, but it is so inspirational for me at this stage in my life. Big Bonus and I am very happy that I was allowed to go and have this experience.

A quick, very quick shower in the hotel before going in town with Mira, Cora and Thijs. Vicenza is such a beautiful city, and even more in the evening when the lights are on and the terraces are filled with young and old people. Nice dinner outside...good food, wine and interesting life stories where shared...yes..it is really Bella Italia in many ways..

Day 3. From school to....

2011-09-20T22:36:00.001-07:00

14.45 hrs. In the bus from Padova to Vicenza. Sunny with a nice temperature. Just had a nice lunch in the Italian way.

An interesting day sofar. We left the hotel at 8, to visit a fashionschool in Padova named E.U. Ruzza Pendola. I have done a project with this school about 15 years ago. It was nice to be back, and even met up with 2 colleagues from the past. The teacher design showed some denim bleached jackets. A new Director introduced herself. Nice atmosphere.

The building hadn't changed and the vieuw on the church with "cuppola's' of Saint Antonio hadn't changed either. I am going to invite them to join a new project about the future of patternmaking.

23.30 hrs.
Next was a visit to Scuola Italiana Design. A really inspirational visit thanks to the inspirational talk about creativity and design done by Strategic Design teacher Andrea Busato. And I liked his glasses very much with the little red part in it.
We don't design, we satify needs.
A good designer is a good observer.
I hope to get in touch with him also because of the training Artist Coach for Companies I did follow and which also goes about creativity.

After lunch we were brought to Ritex Centro which is a textile lab. They do research on textiles for various companies. Interesting and I got a good website about jeans washings which we can use in school.

Late in the afternoon and after a quick view on a Palladian Villa we went off the bus in Vicenza centre.
Couldn't resist a tricot sleeveless cardi with a grey pinstripe front at Falconeri.
I had a Campari on a terrace with my colleague Thijs with the great architect Andrea Palladio in front of us.
A nice dinner outside followed. Really enjoyable company and very personal talks with eachother about subjects of life.
To be honest...I was a bit afraid that we only would talk about education...we do, but luckily also about other topics...and we have great fun also..

Tomorrow more visits...Bedtime now..

Day 2. Differences...and Similarties..

2011-09-19T22:26:00.001-07:00

It is late in the evening now..or better said: early in the morning when I am writing this little post.

Today was a very busy Day. During a meeting in the morning we got loads of information.

It became clear to me that the Italian schoolsystem at the moment is changing into another way of thinking. The future will tell if this is positive or negative. There are private and state-schools steeped in long traditions. A kind of class-system. Ofcourse there are also similarities in topics as drop-outs and how to get those youngsters back to school. Being a member from the European Union also means that we all move more or less into the same direction. But how to get the systems compatible is the big problem which needs to be solved in the future.

I know from experiences in the past that Italian teachers sometimes have the idea that they are better than teachers from other countries. But today I got an opposite impression. Right, wrong??????? But, overall very interesting to hear and it always makes me thinking what my opinion is about education in general and the specific topics I teach.

After a simple, but delicious lunch (what is it that beans and tomatoes taste so much better here??) we got into the bus to visit Arpel. They produce leather and fur coats in a artisanal way for various brands. Interesting, but I am not sure what the future will bring to that firm. But..amazing coloured leathers and how beautiful some of the coats were made.

At the end of the afternoon we went back to Vicenza. Beautiful city to walk through. Nice luxury shops. Did see great boots, a nice tricot jacket. Shopping my winterwardrobe here is a piece of cake. Good Italian atmosphere. Nice and very tasty dinner outside on a Piazza. The group is interesting. Different backgrounds, different jobs in school but also similarities because of working in the education field. Serious, fun, laughter,personal talks..Great. We get to know eachother very well. Half of the group walked back from town to the hotel. It took maybe 20 minutes. A little drink in the bar with a small group afterwards.

I talked about my private situation which is a good thing for me. Little worries about how Bram is coping after I spoke him on the phone. He is so tired. Next week we have to go to the hospital for catheterisation. Really hope something will be found.

Tomorrow more visits to schools and firms. It is good to be here.

Day 1....Schiphol>Venice>Vicenza

2011-09-18T22:36:00.001-07:00

I am at Schiphol Airport now. Traveling by plane to Venice and after arriving there traveling to Vicenza. The trip is organized for teachers who's task is to organize International projects or trainings. Flying out today and returning the coming saturday. The days will be filled with visits to schools, firms, fashion-fair in Milan and a cultural day in Venice. It will be busy, but also very interesting.

So, this morning we said goodbye at the railwaystation. A little mixed feelings. Very looking forward to go, but also worries how things will go at home. Bram's health isn't good (first research nothing found, another research coming soon), but he promised me that nothing would happen. This morning he said that he could't bear the idea that I would have stayed home for him. So I will call everyday and I know that he is taken good care off by friends and neighbours.

Just bougt a book situated partly in Venice (I always buy a book at the airport when I go somewhere) and had a Latte at Starbucks. An hour to go before the plane is heading off...

14.50 hrs. It's raining when we take off...

15.10 hrs. High in the sky. Clouds are drifting by. They form a new kind of landscape. Always changing. I am always amazed how an airplane goes up in the air. I know it technically: speed and pressure working together..but still tough. Gone are the green meadows.

Almost crossing the German border now. Little turbulence is expected. No Blues CD: Ya Dunya is on now.

16.00 hrs. First chapter from "Tell it to the skies." by Erica James finished. An "easy read" for €7,50. Still no sign of a landscape on the ground. White World.

16.25 hrs. 15 minutes to go. Thunderstorm and heavy rain in Venice and 27C. Landing 5 minutes later than expected time. Strange: one moment you are in Amsterdam and less than 2 hrs. later you are on Italy. Turbulence now. Something is appearing now inbetween the clouds. Italy in sight and we are approaching Marco Polo Airport. No clear sight on Venice unfortunately, but such a different coloured landscape.

15.40 hrs. Landed safe in Venice. The city at the horizon.

18.40 hrs. Just had a soak in the bath from my room. Arrived one hour ago - by mini-bus- here at the NH hotel Vicenza. Nice to hear the Italuan language spoken. Very pleasant room with a huge bed.
The group seems nice to me with some familiar faces I know from meetings. Did a phonecall to Bram. Grandson Jim didn't liked the idea that I wasn't at home and kept asking where I was. So sweet to hear this.
At 7 we are going out for dinner. Italian food is my favourite. Let's get dressed now.

22.30 hrs. Home after a nice meal at a restaurant on the same street. Pasta with fungi, white wine, dolci and a good espresso at the end. All that is left is on the picture. Afterwards a drink at a terrace close to the hotel. Interesting group with different backgrounds. Time to read now before going to sleep. Buonanotte.

Back to School..Back to Normal life...

2011-09-15T00:52:00.001-07:00

I am now in my 2nd week back in school and all goes well sofar. My new class seems a nice one and this week I had to teach lessons to all classes. The routine of waking up early is not a problem, but the first time it was strange to find out that it is dark at 5.45 when my alarmclock went off.
The meeting up with my fellowtravelers (my four TrainGirls) on the first day was good as always. Plenty to talk about the past holidays and lots of fun and laughter.

So, back to normal....Daily Rhytm and Routine is good for my mind and soul with at some point a little step into another world..

I didn't go back to my choir last year. To emotional to sing, but last week I went back and had my first rehearsal which was a real joy for me. I sing now in a choir for almost 10 years which is a good thing for me to do. My choir members greeted me with such an enthusiasm that I felt at ease immediately. Nothing on my mind when I sing. No worries or thoughts..just attention for the song and my choir members.
So tonight my 2nd rehearsal in which I might learn some new songs they learned last year...

And there is knitting ofcourse to keep me sane...sort of..

When I read about the JuleKuler book from Arne and Carlos which came out in a Dutch translation I immediately ordered it and after searching in my stash I did cast on which soon became a real addiction. There are 55 patterns in the book and I might knit them all..and perhaps some with my own designs.

It is an easy pattern, and one an evening goes well. At the end with Christmas our house will have a Scandinavian atmosphere with balls everywhere.

They are on YouTube and you can see them Here and Here and Here.. So funny!!

It reminds me of the great holidays we had in Norway years ago. We used to go to Scandinavia almost all summer. Camping in our little tent on campings with hardly anyone.

The breathtaking nature, the fjords and the all over silence.

The first time I went -28 years ago- it was so overwhelming for me, that sometimes I felt that the silence was too much for me. Faded pictures but with great memories...in a way it seems like yesterday..but we have grown older.

Memories to treasure.."Das war Einmal" always sounds a little sad..but, to treasure memories is one of the best things in life. To enjoy Silence.... I have learned it over the years and now going into silence is a big part of my holiday.

And there were the knitted Norwegian sweaters which have always attracted me, but never bought one. Now I would have loved to have one to wear with a pair of jeans..So fashionable. Guess knitting has always been with me in memories over the years, and it is a big part of my life right now.

So let's go back to the Knitting topic.. I did finish off some shawls. The purple tweed one, with the name Spring Time Bandit has send over to my best friend Birgitta who lives in Scotland. She is very pleased with this one. It will hopefully keep her warm in the cold Scottish winter to come.

This week I blocked the Matilda shawl in Red Tweed Yarn...

Who will get this one is a surprise.. even for me. Still on the needles: the Dew Drops Shawl in slippery alpaca yarn.

Must finish this one before going further with my JuleKuler.

Next week it will be Italy for me. A study trip to the Veneto region with visits to fashionschools, firms,fashion-fair in Milan... No, I am not complaining about my work...

A week Home...

2011-08-22T07:52:00.000-07:00

Almost a week home now....but I still haven't landed 100%. Guess I don't want to land in real. Being at home means that the uncomplicated life we had in the little cottage changes to life we normally live.With all ups and downs and happy and scary moments. We already had a scary moment....

Last saturday after waking up Bram told me that he wasn't feeling well (pressure on his chest) and that I had to call the doctor and that he wanted to go to the hospital. Little panic with me (No, please..not again..I really don't want this to happen after all we had gone through) but after contacting the hospital we immediately went there. The pain in his chest had gone by the time we went, but he felt very uncertain with his body (overall he has the feeling that his body is letting him down. Checks were done, but nothing found and we went back with a recipe for a medicine. Luckily we have to go to the cardiologist on Friday and I am going to persuade him to have an MRI scan. Bram's energy level is so low and it is getting worser by the week. Something must be wrong I feel, because he has felt much better after coming home from the rehab centre. By the time we came home, I was sort of out of balance which took me a day to come over.

But I dont want it, that this accident overshadows our wonderful holiday which has done us both so good. My mind often travels back to the little cottage by the sea and I feel we are very lucky that we have found this place. To make it a little better the BBC has started Monty Halls program The Great Irish Escape which is filmed in Connemara. While watching it last Thursday we even saw some faces we know. Might buy the bood and DVD soon.

We left Ireland on a dark clouded Sunday-afternoon after staying in a hotel in Bray. While crossing the Irish sea the sun came out and by the time we arived in Holyhead the sun was out. I had a delightfull afternoon sitting on the terrace from the Boathouse hotel reading the great novel "Life of Pi" which is quite and exiting read. The kind of book you can't stop reading because you want to know what will happen at the end. So even in the room we had I continued (have a look at the ceiling...)

After dinner (Yes.... I took Lobster for a change)

we made a little trip over the Isle of Anglesey which is really a nice place to go. Beautiful little villages, and nice little inlets as this bay on the southside of the island.

Mondaymorning after breakfast we left. Because we had changed the plan and had to catch the ferry to Rotterdam (a whole day for 350 km) we made the plan to go in the morning to the seasidetown of Llandudno on the northcoast from Wales. I had read that Llandudno had an old Victorian pier which I really longed to see.

It wasn't a disappointment despite the fact that the pier was mostly used for "enterntaining" holiday makiers, which means a lot of gambling- machines.

But the pier itself: Splendid and real Victorian and I could imagine what has happened there in the past.

Big orchestra's playing in the big dome, and well dressed Victorians taking a stroll on the pier. A place to go back and maybe enjoy a real English sea-side holiday with a Hamper and deck-chairs on the beach.

The drive to Hull was a very hectic and busy experience , but all went well, and so was the crossing to Rotterdam.

When home on Tuesdaymorning it suddenly appeared that I still had 2,5 weeks holiday, so time for knititng and reading. I blocked some shawls for to give to dear friends

Very pleased with the result (yes, still very into lace..) and I am sure the friends who will get them will love them. Another one flew off the needles yesterday and is now drying after heavy blocking. Couldn't resist to cast on another lace one in red tweed yarn on 5,5 needles.

I have found out that lace not always needed to be knitted on very thin needles. Some patterns are great in a rustic yarn. While on the other hand I am also still knitting on my alpaca shawl on 3.75 needles.

About 50 rows to go before casting off..I have an idea who will get those..but can't tell yet..In the meantime I am thinking about starting to design myself...

Goodbye.

2011-08-13T02:58:00.001-07:00

I said goodbye to "My Bay" yesterday- afternoon. The cows from Marty were on the beach staring at that strange man. Rain came, and after that suddenly Innishboffin became clear in sight. The sun did shine for a few minutes on the houses and green fields of that island. I picked up some nice yellow-orange shells to take home,so I can remember the days of calmness here which cleared my mind and cleansed my soul.

Walking back I realized how good this holiday has been for the both of us, here at the place we know so well. Days have gone by in a pleasant way. Coffee in Clifden, the Irish Times on hand, a little shopping for dinner, a swim and a walk and little trips by car, healthy dinners with a glass of wine, knitting in the evening with a cup of tea. A glass of whiskey at the end. Exitement in little things.

We had a nice evening last night with Anne, Pat and Tony, as we always have on the evening before we leave. Tea and cakes and gifts we got.

Now it is the last morning here. A little packing needs to be done before we set of. The travel to Bray won't take long and the hotel will be nice. Bray seems to be a nice place. And the rest of the trip is also part of the holiday.

But I will miss this little cottage, which is a good sign I suppose. If you miss something it means that it is very important to you. We said goodbye to Anne, Pat and Tony. Tears came up when I drove away.
"Home is where the Heart is", and our Hearts are here.

Empty Houses.

2011-08-12T04:04:00.001-07:00

For today they promised persistant rain coming from the West. Strong winds from the Atlantic.
And, yes it is raining already all morning. I made the fire and it is comfortable here. Warm tea and porridge.
But I often think about how it must have been here long ago. Living in a damp cottage all year round. Healthproblems would occur. Flu or even worse.

There are still many of these traditional houses all around in the landscape. Ruins they are. The roof has disappeared and all is left are stone walls. In the area where we are many can be found. Sometimes you can see holes were windows would have been. Reflections from the past they are.

But there is history in these houses. Personal history which links to the history and development of a country. Babies were born and grandparents passed away. Happines and sadnes. The ordinary daily life from going to bed when it was dark and waking up early. The first thing needed to be done was making fire to get the cold out. If you were lucky the fire was still on. And than a long workingday ahead. Life circles as they are everywhere.

It looks as it is dry outside, but we keep the fire going.

Silence.

2011-08-12T04:03:00.001-07:00

Today was a typical Irish summerday (just kidding). Fog, drizzle and rain, but not cold. In the afternoon it became dry and it stayed dry all evening.

After dinner I made a walk to Selerna bay. While walking I suddenly became aware of the silence around me and I could hear the silence in my head.
The first time I discovered this silence in my head was during a meditation session. I was so amazed with the awareness, that it was away the next second and that silence was also a bit overwhelming. Never had such a strong experience with silence.

Now I like to go back to that silence every now and than. Sit and breath is all it takes. This place offers me a lot of intense silence which is doing well for my often hectic mind. It comes sort of automatically when I make a walk. It might be one of the reasons why I like to be here.

Simple Pleasure 9.

2011-08-10T04:41:00.001-07:00

Smell. When I am walking to the bay for my daily swim, I am surrounded by the smell of flowers. Sweet perfume from wild roses. A strong aroma from red klover. It is a little walk, but I enjoy it everytime.

The nearer I come to the sea, the stronger one can smell the sea. Esspecially at low tide you get the pungent smell from seaweed in your nose. Stones, which are usually under water show their green covering and give their particular smell. The smell of the sea always makes me happy. Salt water and salt air.
The Irish poet John O'Donnell has written a poem which covers it all.

Salty nights: damp hair
and skin, ears still full of sand
listening to the beach.

I would love to live near the sea. Last year we visited our dear friend Penny who lives next to the sea. Just a street inbetween her house and the sea. I have never slept closer by the sea. Sleeping with the window open and listening and smelling the sea was such a great experience for me.

Smell I guess, is the most difficult thing to describe. But I guess we all know the smell of the sea.

Doo Lough

2011-08-10T04:40:00.001-07:00

There are very sad parts in the Irish History. The Great Famine is one of the many. 1849 it was. The potato crop was totally rotten. No food from the land meant no money for the tennants. No money meant that they couldn't pay the rent for their house to the landlord. They were forced to leave their house. The house than was taken down by the landlord so they couldn't stay. Whole families, young and old had to leave the place they lived. The harsh climate didn't help much to survive and many passed away during their flew to...yes, to where??
The lucky ones escaped to the New World, but only the ones who had the money for it. It is the same which still happens today. No work means no money and no money means no future.
Little has changed. There is still poverty in the world.

Monday morning we set off for a trip to Doo Lough. It was nice weather when we left. The more closer we came to Leenane, the more drizzle appeared. We followed the road among the Aasleagh waterfall, Delphi Lodge to Doo Lough. The rain became heavy.

At this valley in 1849 tennants had to leave their houses as told by the owner of Delphi Lodge. Many off them passed away while trying to get away. No food, no nothing, so you starve. It is hard to imagine what has happened here, but it must have been a horrible sight.
The valley is beautiful, but also there is a lot of sad history swirling in the air.

A little stone cross is placed as a memento for those who lost their lives here and elsewhere in the world. The text from Gandhi says it all:

"How can men feel themselves honoured by the humiliation of their fellow beings".

After we left the valley the sun came out and we drove home through Maam Valley.

Simple Pleasure 8

2011-08-09T04:24:00.001-07:00

Shells...whenever I am on the beach I pick up some shells. Have done this since the first time I came here. Picking up shells is a thing you learn as a child. I loved making things with the shells.
At home we had 1 rather exotic big shell and if you took it to your ear you could hear the sea. I really believed that story.

The shells on the beach are not very exotic. They are simple shells in all kind of colours. I am always picking up some. It almost goes without thinking. Perhaps it is somewhere in my genes
One day it can be that I only pick up the yellow ones and on other days I pick up all kinds. They always go into a pocket from my worn out black fleece jacket.

There is no reason for picking up shells. It is just nice to do.

Simple Pleasure 7

2011-08-09T04:23:00.001-07:00

Next to the scones Anne also bakes once a week a great tasting sodabread for us.
Sodabread...I think it belongs to the Irish identity. It is an easy bread to make. It just takes flour and perhaps some oats. Sprinkke of salt. Some Baking Soda and milk or buttermilk. Mix it with a wooden spoon to a soft dough. Make it into a round shape. A cross with a knife on top to let the fairies out. Bake in the oven and out comes this soft and moist bread. Nothing tastes better than a slightly piece of "still a little warm" sodabread with butter. It doesn't need more.

Simple Pleasure 6

2011-08-09T04:22:00.001-07:00

Sunsets. Love watching them. I can't remember from previous holidays here that we did see so many beautiful sunsets. I go in and out of the house to watch. Everyday they are different. Never a dull moment with a sunset....
Here are a few from last weeks.

Ballynahinch Castle.

2011-08-09T04:16:00.001-07:00

It was a nice day today. I decided we should go for lunch to Ballynahinch castle. Well, it is not really a castle, more a manorhouse with castle elements and now turned into a nice hotel. We usually go there when we are here. For coffee or tea or a lunch. There is certainly a kind of romance in that place. Open fires, library, nice diningroom, a beautiful garden and the river which flows among. You can learn to flyfish with the help of a Gillie or make nice walks in the surroundings.

One of the previous owner was a Maharadja from India. You can read his full name on a plaquette, but overall he is known as: Ranji. He was the first Indian cricket-player who was in the English National team in the beginning of the previous century.
He happened to arrive one day in Connemara and fell in love with it and bought Ballynahinch castle.
He would arrive with his Indian staff at the railwaystation at Ballynahinch after a long travel by boat and train all the way from India. It must have been a very exotic scene there at the railwaystation. Out came women dresses in colourfull sari's and men wearing tulbands and nehru jackets. Maybe it was cold and windy, perhaps a little drizzle. And there they were greeted by the staff from the castle dressed in formal Irish clothes. Two sudge a different worlds meeting eachother. Must have been something for all involved. Some nieces from Ranji where placed at the boardingschool at Kylemore Abbey.
And he himself? He would change immediately his Indian clothes for a tweed outfit and would go fishing and hunting with the locals. When leaving before going backbto India he always would donate his car to the community.
Unfortunately he has only lived there for 6 years in the roaring twenties.

But this story crosses my mind everytime we visit Ballynahich Castle. I did read a beautiful biography about him years ago written by Anne Chamber.

So, the lunch was good and after that I took some pictures before going home. The sun came out and I had my "Birthday Dip" at my private bay in Rossadilisk. What better way of ending my birthday?

FiftyThree

2011-08-07T04:39:00.001-07:00

53 Today.

Weather Forcast.

2011-08-07T04:25:00.001-07:00

According the weather forcast it was supposed to rain today. Long periods of rain. Well..it did rain early in the morning. It was dry when we woke up round 9 and in Clifden round 11 the sun came out. Little drizzle in the late afternoon and dry afterwards. Just after dinner round 8 I went to the well to get a bottle of water. When there..it started to rain..a "soft rain" as they call it here. It lasted a few minutes and out came the sun. Bright light on a wet landscape. A beautiful sunset at the end.

It is the quick changes in the weather here, which can show a landscape so different in a few minutes. One minute dark and the next moment bright and shiny.
I hardly believe what the weather forcast tells..it is usually the other way round here.

P.s. I have a slight new addiction. I have put a retro camera app (the Bärbi, Leipzig 1951) in my phone which gives such a nostalgic images.. here are a few I made today..

Summerlook

2011-08-06T04:46:00.001-07:00

Always when I am on holiday I don't care that much the way I look. And ofcourse we took too much clothes with us despite the fact that there is a washing machine in the cottage. Every year we try to limit, but it never works. Just in case..some extra shirts...and this for a cold day..and this....and again the bag is fully packed with clothes we won't wear.

I wear my favourite garments most of the time, and when they are dirty I wash them to put them on again in the same week. Guess with less clothes I could do this holiday too.

So this year it is my all time favourite striped Marimekko shirt, a pair of jeans (should have mended the holes: they get bigger by the day) and my Birkenstock slippers.

Tomorrow at my birthday we are going to have lunch at Ballynahinch Casttle. I will dress up a little. No Birkenstocks, that's for sure.

Simple Pleasure 5. Knitting.

2011-08-05T04:25:00.001-07:00

I love knitting. The simple technique from 2 sticks, some yarn and a movement to create a fabric. If you know the basics, something beautiful can come out.
"Knit with confidence through all crises" is a sentence from Elizabeth Zimmerman and she is right with that. Knitting has helped me a lot during the last year. Kept me focused on the positive side of life.

So, I took my needles, different yarns and patterns with me to Ireland, next to 2 almost finished Estonian lace projects which only needed some grafting. Still very into lace, and I only knit them to give away.

My first finished shawl I knitted here in Ireland is for Anne. Knitted in hand-dyed merino/silk yarn from A Verb for keeping Warm. I won that beautiful skein in a competition from the podcast Fiberbeat. It needs blocking which I will do at home, and than send it off to Anne.

Than I started a lace shawl from Kieran Foley in bright blue Madeline Tosh lace yarn. It will take a long time to finish it off.
Another idea was to make a sample shawl with all kind of Estonian patterns in it. Nice idea, but far too complicated for a holiday knit, and I find alpaca too slippery for it. Instead it will be the Dewdrop shawl. Bit boring begin, but I am now at the point to start the lace section, so much more exiting.

At Stanleys in Clifden they sell nice Aran Tweed yarn from Studio Donegal. Couldn't resist to buy this purple colour to knit the Springtime Bandit Shawl as a gift for a friend. Easy and quick knit on 5,5 needles. With sheep everywhere walking you woukd expect loads of different yarns you could buy. The truth is that there are hardly any mills left, so unfortunately not much choice and hardly any good yarnstores left.

But best of all is knitting here outside with a vieuw on the Atlantic when the sun is shining.

Lost in Time.

2011-08-05T04:18:00.001-07:00

I like to make a little walk in the evening after dinner. Tonight was no exception. Today started with fog. After that was gone, light rain came. Thereafter drizzle and winds turning into North West which gave a cool breeze. It became much clearer in the sky. The sun came out slightly on and off. Round 6 pm because of the wind the sun came out full blast. The light here in Connemara is something special.

This changing of the weather during the day is something I like. "All seasons in a day" it is called. It can be much more extreme than today and it makes the vieuw on landscapes different every moment. This is probably a reason why I love this place so much.

Tonight I made a walk to the bay. It had just been high tide. Sitting on a rock between the 2 bays I got lost in time. That usually happens when I am there. Simply don't leave. The smell of the sea and the sound of the waves kind of hypnotizes me. This place is good for my soul and mind. Wish I could take it home with me.

There was a beautiful sunset when I walked home. Rain now, when I am off to bed.

A Hike at Kylemore Abbey.

2011-08-04T04:01:00.001-07:00

Tuesdaynight we had a lovely dinner at Sven, Inez and the kids Eva and Finn. The are a Dutch couple living close to Cleggan. We have met them years ago and became good friends with them. It is always good to meet up and talk about the things happening in our lives.
Opposite their house is a beautiful lake and we made a little row trip where I catched the sun going down.
Inez is working at Kylemore Abbey for years and since this year she can take you on a Mountain Hike from about 2,5 hours. So, yesterday when I woke up the sun was shining -they promised us rain all day - I decided to do the walk.

Kylemore Abbey is built by Mitchell Henry for his beloved wife Margaret Henry. In 1850 they were on honeymoon in and because she was so charmed by Connemara Henry bought the 15.000 acre estate as a gift for Margaret. He decided to built her a fairytale castle. It is one of the biggest tourist attractions in Connemara. We have been there a few times. The inside of the castle is not spectacular, but I love the Victorian garden which was redone and opened in 2000 with beautiful glasshouses.

But...I came for the Hike. So at 11 we left the visitor centre for which would become a breath taking walk up on Mount Doughruagh with vieuws on Kylemore Lough and the Benbrack. The old paths were discovered last year and more paths are expected to be discovered. The Victorians loved this rugged landscapes, and a Picknick in such a landscape was the ultimate dream for them.

The beginning was a rather steep climb. We were surrounded by oak trees covered with mosses, ferns, visited a cave and saw masses of rhododendrons. This last plant is not good for the natural habitat. They have changed flora and fauna in the surroundings. Very difficult to get rid off unfortunately.

Up we went to have a great vieuw over the area. The Atlantic in the distance, Diamond hill on the other side. The sun came out now and than and gave the green mountains a velvet look. The light here can change so fast, and that is what I have liked so much ever since the first time I came to Connemara.
At the end we stopped at the Sacred Heart Statue which will be painted white again soon. During the Hike Inez explained a lot about the landscape. Interesting things about the age of the mountains: they are much older than the Himalayas, plants, animals etc.

I hadn't made a walk such a this one for a long time. One benefits if walking is that you don't think of anything else than walking, and during the walk your head gets filled with a beautuful landscape. After the walk I had a coffee - and cake ofcourse- in the restaurant before heading home.

Beauty and the Beast.

2011-08-03T07:24:00.001-07:00

There is Beauty from the Hydrangias in all kind of colours....

And there are the Beast on pillars at some entrance of a houses.....

Simple Pleasure 4.

2011-08-02T03:55:00.001-07:00

Nothing better than a "Dip in the Atlantic". I always feel that it cleans body and soul. Esspecially in the bay at Rossadiliks where hardly anyone swims. Whenever I tell anyone here that I like to swim there the answer is always..but the water is so cold. Are you wearing a wetsuit? Ofcourse not is my vast reply.

I must admit: the water has not a tropical temperature. It is fresh when you go in, but after a while it feels pleasant and the strange thing is that when you swim back the water feels warmer closer to the shore. The water in the bay is chrystal clear. A few years ago while swimming a seal popped up 1 meter from me. We looked at eachother and off he or she went. The story goes that some seals are selkies. When the selkie comes ashore she turns into a beautiful woman and when she picks up the skin she becomes a seal again. Perhaps this one was a Selkie, who knows..

Since I learned to swim I have always loved it. When I was a boy my father took me everymorning in the season to the pool. At 7 in the water, at 7.30 out of the water, no matter what kind of weather it was. Nice childhood memorie. But swimming in a swimming pool is not my thing anymore. Too many people and the smell of chloride turns me off.

But swimming here is the way I like it.
All it needs is a little walk among the lane going down to the sea. They placed a signpost: Rossadilisk Paradise. For me it is a Swimming Paradise.

Tomorrow they promised a nice and sunny day. If so, I might go twice.

Just a Day.

2011-08-02T03:53:00.001-07:00

We just had dinner. Easy food. A Pasta dish and for dessert some warm plums with custard. The sun is going down now into the Atlantic. Beautiful sight.

Today is just a lovely day.
We woke up at 9 after going to bed rather late. Last night on the tele was a program about the celebration of Lughnasa which is the ancient Celtic harvest festival and the marking of autumn. Later that night the showed the film Dancing at Lughnasa. A bit of a sentimental film about rural Ireland in 1936, but really enjoyable. I even pinked a tear away.

After breakfast, a shower, getting dressed and a chat with Anne, we went to Clifden. It was a bit clear here in Cleggan, but in Clifden was a little drizzle. After coffee, with a nice piece of lemoncake next to it a little shopping needed to be done.

Bram wanted to see the Errislanan peninsula which is a pleasant drive just outside Clifden. It was dry during that time and after coming home we could sit outside. Laundry in the machine. Nothing better smelling than laundry which has dryed outside. Bram took a nap and I finished off some shawls I made last months.

The sun came out late on the afternoon. Blue sky with white clouds. Couldn't resist to go for a swim. It was High Tide. Warm water from the Gulf stream came into the bay and the swimming was a real joy. A glass of white wine was waiting when I came home.

While walking home from the beach I suddenly realized that I felt smiling all day. Guess I got another kind of awarenes after all what happened last year. It seems the little things in life are more important to me. There is the smell of the sea mixed with the smell of the fields. A seagull screaming. Complete silence. A lane full of red fuchsia bushes. The mountains in the far distance and the islands in the sea. My mind calms down. No rush, no hurry. This place has it all. Glad we found it years ago.

The sun is now going down. Got to go outside now to catch this moment.

Just a Day....but..What a Day!!

Simple Pleasure 3

2011-08-01T04:03:00.001-07:00

Anne bakes the best scones. We usually get a plate full from her once a week. Usually they come straight out of the oven so they are still a bit warm. They are simple fruit scones. Nothing fancy, and that is why I love them so much. Guess she bakes them all her life once a week, and I bet she has the recipe in her head. Must be something like flour, pinch of salt, baking soda and milk or buttermilk and raisins. Mixed all together to a soft dough. Cut into scones and baked in a hot oven.

Nothing better than a "cuppa" with a fresh baked scone with butter and jam.

Home.

2011-07-31T04:32:00.001-07:00

If I ever win the lottery I will buy a house here. Connemara always feels like coming home. If I would win those millions I know which house I want. It stands just outside Cleggan, right in the corner on the way to Kylemore. Cleggan bay is at the doorstep, and to see it all you need to do is cut down some bushes.
I have always loved this house from the moment I saw it for the first time years ago. It is on the market for many years now, but never sold.

It is a big house which has a little exotic atmosphere due to the shutters and the yellow colour it is painted in. Very big it is with stalls and stables. We wouldn't need all this space. Bram would make a nice plan for the inside. Furniture would be simple. Not too many things in it. An empty house gives nothing to worry about. It provides space in your head to think and to be creative. The house itself is big enough to live in. A studio on the top floor with plenty of light to knit, paint, weave and print.

Three years ago when we stayed here 4 weeks I did knit labels with embroided words to hang at empty houses. At this house I hanged one with the word: HOME. No one has taken it off till now.
Perhaps one day it will be my home. The only thing I need to do to get it, is start playing the lottery.

Soul Connection.

2011-07-30T04:52:00.001-07:00

Yesterday evening I made a little walk to Selerna Bay. To get there you have to follow a path which runs down the fields. 2 men were working on the fence and a woman was chatting with them. She asked me if I was living in the area, what kind of job I had and how I felt about this place. My reply on the last question was that Connemara - and esspecially the area around Cleggan - always touches me and that tears are often running here. You probably have a soul connection here, and she might be right with that.

There is no other country where I have been, which makes me cry so often, and sometimes without a reason I can tell. Perhaps it has to do with all history buried here in the ground. Not visible, but feelable if you are sensitive for it.

The woman happened to be a psychotherapist with Carl Jung as inspirator. Yesterday afternoon we made a little trip to the Avoca shop and outside a text from Carl Jung was painted. Coinsidence or not I think the text is really true.

Simple Pleasure 2

2011-07-29T04:25:00.001-07:00

Whenever I am in England or Ireland I start drinking tea with milk. At home I never pour milk in my tea.
In the cottage I found a big bag with porridge oats. 3 days ago I started my day with a big bowl porridge. Warm and soothing. Real comfortfood.

1 cup of oats, 2 cups of water and 1 cup of milk and 6 minutes on the stove is all it takes. Some sugar sprinkled on top with a little lump of butter. The butter melts and forms with the sugar pools of indulgence mixed with the warm porridge.

I don't think I will make it at home, but here it is the perfect food to start the day with.

Peat is what we need.

2011-07-29T03:56:00.001-07:00

Traditionally peat (or turf) is used in a lot of households in Ireland. The first time we went to Ireland we stayed in a B&B in Moate and there we smelled burning peat for the first time. It is not an unpleasant smell, a bit smokey it is.

A lot of families have a small piece of ground to cut peat and use it at home. It provides warmth and was used for cooking. A burning stove gave security in this often harsh climate. To keep the fire going was very important even in summer when days can be chilly. The best is when the fire stayes on during the night and in the morning all you have to do is to put some peat on it.
In our little cottage used to be a big stove which runned on peat. It was Bram's task to keep it running. The stove was massive and took a lot of space.

Peat is provided to us by Pat who has a piece of land to cut peat. Everyday he fills a bucket.
Peat needs to be dryed after cutting and Pat does it in a traditional way. It is a big "mountain" of peat next to the house. Straw on top so rain can't come in. Netting and rope with stones to keep everything in place. There is a plan to stop the cutting of peat by law but I guess that won't happen soon. Ireland and peat go so well together already for centuries. It is part of the Irish identity.

The huge stove in our cottage is gone and a small burner is placed. We make fire everyday and it is always a challenge to keep the fire going. I am not very good in it which is strange because they say that only men can make fire. I don't believe this cause I know quite a few women who are very good in making fire.

Simple Pleasures..

2011-07-28T02:58:00.001-07:00

The older I get, the more I appreciate the Simple things in life. In our cottage is since a year good, but light chlorid water. Before that you could take a bath in brownish water coming from peat (turf). It looked a bit strange this muddy water, but it was very soft water and it added something -not bad tasting- to a cup of tea.
But for real good water you had to go to the well opposite of our cottage. Just a little walk to get there.Easy to find when you see the yellow painted old fashioned waterpump on the left side of the street. A little step and into the field it is where you have to go. You plunge your bottle in, and it is filled with the loveliest and very good tasting water you can imagine. It gave the feeling that you had to do a little work to get it.
Since 2 years they have a simple manual pump to get the water up. The reason they made this was that they were worried a child could fall in and drown. So for safety now there is this pump.
Bit different, but still the little walk is nice..and..yes..it is easier to get the water..but a bit of romance has gone too.

Message from an Island

2011-07-27T06:58:00.001-07:00

Yes...we are in Ireland. Arrived in Cleggan last Saturday. It always feels as coming home. Always when I see Cleggan from the top of the hill tears are coming up. This time was no exception. On arriving at the cottage tears again when seeing Anne and family. Really a warm welcome as always, but guess after all what happened last year it was even more special to be back at the little cottage by the sea. The last days have past by in a pleasant way with little walks, shopping in Clifden,my first swim in the Atlantic, meeting up with people we have got to know over the years as Heinz and Marianne, Nicole from the Clifden Bookshop,the owners of the lovely coffeeshop UpstairsDownstairs ( I am now having a cappucino there while writing this), Inez (who will come for dinner tonight..Fishpie on the Menu).
Did already knit a shawl for Anne in a beautiful hand dyed yarn from A Verb for keeping Warm I got from my knittingfriend Mike.

The trip to here went well. Bram was very tired ofcourse but now has 3 weeks to feel better. We have used the wheelchair much more and found out that it has benefits. A big cabin on the Ferry to Hull, the best room in the hotel and the kindness from people. Last year I didn't feel comfortable with it, but guess after all happened to Bram and me I really don't care anymore. Being Alive and being together is much more impotant than the use of a wheelchair.
Little drizzle now. Not very strange here..could clear up in the afternoon. Yesterday was glorious. A day full of sunshine and blue sky. Got really sunburned...

Ireland..always good to be here. Anne told me this morning that I already look so well..and Yes..I feel very well...
Shopping now...Fishmonger and Supermarket...Life is good here at the edge of Europe.

Busy days...

2011-07-04T23:18:00.001-07:00

The last weeks at work before the long summerholiday starts are always hectic and busy. It seems it gets more and more manic each year. But I am not sure if that is really true. Perhaps it is only a feeling because I have this idea that I won't finish everything. And next to there is the lack of sleep. If I don't make enough sleep my days lack of good energy. After a visit to the doctor last week I got melatonine tablets from him which I use for the night. Last night wasn't too bad.
Guess I really need the coming holiday to calm down and get everything in the right perspective. Last year has taken a lot from me before and after Bram's operation, and it still does. Patience and taking more time is what we need, but we are both not so good at that point. We both had expected that after the 5 weeks rehab centre it would go upwards which isn't the way it is. Knowing that all is fine with his heart feels good ofcourse, but his tiredness is worrying. He now gets treatments from a very good Osteopat and tonight for the first time acupuncture. Hope that will do him good.
The trip to Ireland will be heavy for him, but we will go in slow gear with a few more stopovers in hotels on the way. The idea of staying in the little cottage by the sea with the 2 donkeys and Anne and Pat as neighbours makes me already very happy. We have been there many times and it was always good for the both of us.
Days will be filled with swimming in the ocean, reading, knitting and going to Clifden for a coffee. Visits to friends and walks among the cliffs at Cleggan Head or at the little island Innishboffin.
Just to be sure we won't be in problems we will take a wheelchair with us. Not very looking forward to that, but there are people who have to stay all day in a wheelchair which is not for Bram at the moment. My knittingfriend Mike and his partner are dealing with this for a few years and they are kind of an example for me. With his stick Bram still can walk small distances. I have decided for myself that I have to go over that feeling and look at the positive part of it. He and we both can do more if he doesn't get so tired.
I am writing this post in the train on my phone. Almost there now...busy day ahead..but the counting down has begun...and a full desk is wating for me....

The Fashionshow...

2011-07-02T02:12:00.000-07:00

Yes,I know..this blog should also be about knitting..but that topic doesn't has to tell much at the moment. But it also tells the things I do or meet up with in life as the yearly fashion show from our department.My colleague Riky Vos shot great photo's and almost all of them in this post are made by her.

This year we had an extremely good 4th year class who showed their final work. It is not every year you have such a group who is so keen on knowing everything about the fashionindustry. It was always a joy to teach this group and the last half year was no exepction. They are all different and have different personalities which comes out when they are designing and producing their Final Collections. Next to that students from level 2 and 3 and the 3th year class showed their products.

My task during the show is talk the audience throug the show, which is really fun to do, and it seems I have the right voice for it.The show did start with the 3th year class who showed experimental outfits made from flax and linnen who were dyed with natual dyes. I always like big groups on stage

After that the Final work from level 2 was showed. Based on the theme Latino these girls showed off their colourfull outfits. Level 2 always moves me, because they come from such different backgrounds and cultures and to see them proudly on stage is a real joy.

The 3th year class showed naughty secretary girls
in tweed jackets with funny accecories

Evening gowns was also a theme and I particulary liked this pompom one (yes, all pompoms are handmade!!)

But most attention ofcourse was for the final collections. There are no pictures from all of them, but a few stand out for me and here is a little selection

Backstage is always a mess with shoes everywhere...

but there is also time to make some nice shots from outfit as those from Shusanik Moutafian based on baskets..

Next to the show students also have to present photos from a photoshoot they have done. I particulary liked those professional ones from Eline Bouman who's collection was titled "Le Sac"

Overall a real nice day and evening and let's see how next year show will be..

Madam Gres....Ultimate Perfection...

2011-06-26T03:40:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday, my colleague Annemiek gave me the pictures she made at the wonderful exhibition in Musee Bourdelle from Madam Gres, we did see during the schooltrip to Paris in May. The exhibition was organized by Fashion Museum Galliera which is currently under construction.I was really looking forward to this exhibition, because you hardly see such an impressive exhibition with so many garments from Madam Gres all together.

To tell you the truth: I had never heard about the sculptor Bourdelle but after the guide who spoke about hislife and work , many of his sculptures can be seen in Paris. The museum itself is really worth a visit with.

Set close to La Tour Montparnasse the building in the courtyard is simply beautiful.

But... we came for the exhhibition of Madam Gres. Ofcourse I knew a little about her dresses: the drapery and the elegance of it. But I didn't know anything about her tragic life. In Wikipedia is written:

Germaine Émilie Krebs (1903–1993), known as Alix Barton and later as "Madame Grès", launched her design house under the name Grès in Paris in 1942. Formally trained as a sculptress, she produced haute couture designs for an array of fashionable women, including the Duchess of Windsor, Marlene Dietrich, Greta Garbo, Jacqueline Kennedy, and Dolores del Río. Her signature was cut-outs on gowns that made exposed skin part of the design, yet still had a classical, sophisticated feel. She was renowned for being the last of the haute couture houses to establish a ready-to-wear line, which she called a "prostitution".[1]
The name Grès was a partial anagram of her husband's first name and alias. He was Serge Czerefkov, a Russian painter, who left her soon after the house's creation.[1] Grès enjoyed years of critical successes but, after Grès herself sold the business in the 1980s, it faltered.
[edit]

A tragic life. She was not a good business woman, but usually creative people are not good in business. Her couture house was sold without the rights of her perfume Cabochard launched in 1959 (the perfume is still available).

And at the end, in front of her eyes: everything was thrown into the binm. All her drawings, garments, patterns etc. That was the end of the couture house.

But let's go and see the exhibition. It all starts in the big room with sculptures from Bourdelle and in the middle of this room is a little cabinet with a stunning dress which is made out of 1 piece.

Mindblowing for me. Such a simplicity and elegance. Made out of white silk tricot.

Little perfect placed pleats, moulded into this sculptural dress. A Grecian Goddess.. As with all her dresses: you could wear them today and would look Fabulous in it.

The whole exhibition was a joy to watch and in the perfect setting. There were great gowns as this serie shows.

At the entrance of the former atelier from Bourdelle those dresses were shown.

A room further was this bright green dress showed with beautiful pleated details.

Some of the dresses reminded me of the dresses from Azzedine Alaia. The famous desingners who knew how to show the perfection of the woman's body into tricot. Not very strange to think it, because it seems that Alaia has a big collection of gowns from Madam Gres who admires for her cratmanship. A lot of his Gres collection was in the exhibition.

Madam Gres not only designed and made dresses she also joined forces with jewelery makers as can be seen in those 2 examples.

And on and on it went with the most amazing garments.

Based on a coat from a priest.

The shape of the New Look, but in a different way.

Bright and colourful.

And this one. One of the few dresses made in multicolours.

It was elegance after elegance, style after style and perfection after perfection....
At the end of a room was this display from white dresses with such beautiful details on it.

I guess not all woman can wear those dresses - you must have a perfect figure for it - but it must be very special to see a woman wearing such a dress at the red carpet.

Madam Gres was not good in drawing her deigns, but nevertheless she made little sketches which also have ended in the binn. Someone must have picked them out and a few months ago the skeches were presented to Musee Galliera. as with all musuems there was no money to buy them. Pierre Berge (the former partner from Yves Saint Laurent) stept in and bought all of them and donated them to Musee Galliera. A few examples were in the exhibition.

And there was more...much, much more...

Beautiful draped black dresses....

And those 2 with the colours of the 70's

But as mentioned before it came to a tragic end. This dress is the last one she made and after it was finished she gave it to the fashion designer Hubbert de Givenchy as a gift.

She never made anything more after that dress and died alone in a hospital.

Ofcourse after this Stunning exhibition I bought the catalogue.

Within also fashion photographes were you can see how wonderful the dresses look on woman.

Really worth to see, but you have to be quick......The exhibition ends the 24th of July..
For me it was one of the most beautiful fashion exhibition I have ever seen.

Next blog will be about the fashionshow from our college with great photoos made by my colleague Riky..

Lots of Fashion... but not much Knitting Nowadays..

2011-06-19T08:27:00.000-07:00

Over the last few weeks it was almost all about Fashion. My students from the 4th year are finishing the school with their Final Collections. For me it is always a joy to see and hear them talk bout their own Collection. Those presentation days we had over the last weeks are almost the best days from the year for me. To see them grow within the 4 years study is a joy to watch and one of the great benefits of being a teacher. There is a Fashion show coming up on Tuesday so my work is very busy and hectic at the moment (so much comes inbwetween). Pictures from the fashionshow will appear hopefully in my next post but here are some details.. and yes..it is all about fabrics, details and creativity!!

It is always a lot of work for them to do, but this year the level is very high and the extern examinators were very impressed by the standard of it.

It is not only that we show the Final collections but also from other classes and levels. My 3th year class are also presenting their garments they designed over the last year. Some details are really worth to be seen...

It is Busy.... I came home on Fridayafternoon and had to sleep for 1,5 hour and went to bed at 21.30 which is not my ususal fridaynight. But I have to take good care of myself during those busy periods I know from experience over the last years.

This weekend was all about calming down..Doing the weekly things on saturday as shopping on the market, coffee in the cafe, easy dinner, a glass of whine and watching Wallander (2 episodes) on the tele. Today is about writing this blog and coffee in Almen (as ususal).Knitting is a bit slow at the moment. Only a few rows in the evening.. some evenings I was even too tired to pick up the needles. But the project I am working now is again an Estonian lace shawl from a pattern by Nancy Bush in great Knitpicks yarn I got from Wendel.

Had to start over a few times due to concentration problems...but I am sure the result will be fine.

Bram still is not feeling very well -very tired- but we are still trying to find a reason. Hopefully the coming holiday will do him well. Not always easy to deal with it for the both of us, but we are coping quite well I must say.

Off now to have some tea and later I will make a Summer Risotto with fresh peas in it...in my new Kitchen...

Picture is from last week when not everything was totally done..

I also did start another blog with the title Every Garment tells a Story. I hope to write once a week about 1 item from my wardrobe. Had this plan already for months, and being busy is not a good reason for not writing...

THE Photo..

2011-06-06T07:14:00.000-07:00

THE Photo arrived today in my mailbox...Very pleased with it.. if I dare say so... One comment on Facebook was: very Cute and you look like a little boy (and that at my age...thanks Jesse)Let me know what you think about it.. Shirt:Pendleton

Trousers: Henrik Vibskov

Bag: Kabla

Socks: Handknitted with Lorna Lace sock yarn, Pattern: Conwy by Nancy Bush (did wear them at my wedding).

Shoes: Camper, about 9 years old

I am in Love with Amber...Really...

2011-06-04T05:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday-afternoon I went to see Amber for the first time... we had a Date...But who is Amber you might think.. (I can hear you thinking...)

Well, Amber is the Muse from the Fashion Biennale in Arnhem (the place I was born and went to Art-school)and she is there till the 3th of July.. You really have to meet her. She is Beautiful and she is all about Atmosphere.. She is..She is Amber...and on the front of the catalogue you can see how she looks. I have been to all previous ModeBiennalles. Love the idea that every 2 year there is a big Fashion Event with an exhibition, fashion shows etc. This time the venue was a big hall from AkzoNobel. A great place for this event. My mind really needed this trip because last wednesday I was -while driving home- witnessing a very heavy motoraccident and the film kept repeating in my head. And Amber was there to bring me into another world.

Entering the building there was a long corridor were beautiful music was played, a room filled with scents from the Amber perfume. This one is nr 5: Sandelwood I am not going to show you everything from Amber, but just the things I liked. The Instalation from Amy Dicke - her room which will be covered in foundation over the weeks- is a very impressive part of the Biennale. It will change every week and I hope to go back in a few weeks time with my students.

Being a knitter I notice within myself that I am always on the outlook for knitted items. Shaun Samsom from Central Saint Martins in London showed a piece with knitting involved in the fabric. A dress, A T-shirt, Male or Female..? very intriguing way of working with different textiles.

Very different was also the dress, shoes and headpiece from Jenny Postle (also from Saint Martins) with knitting involved in it.Beautiful made and great colourcombinations.

Later in the exhibition I did see this simple idea instead of a scarf from Siki Im.Might make something for the coming winter to wear over my wintercoat.

This dress from Vladimir Karaleev (from Berlin) caught my eye not only because of the bright purple colour, but also by the kind of origami-foldingtechnique which adds a 3 dimension to the dress.

Before entering the big Hall there was Rodarte, the collection from the 2 sisters Kate and Laura. Presented in Ultraviolet Light all you could see were the neon accents. I took a picture with flash, so the garments with a touch of folklore appeared.

Entering the big hall on the right is the - already famous- wax girl from A.F.Vandevorst sleeping on a wax matress. She will be gone after the exhibition is the idea behind this big candle.Not sure if that will happen..not enough embedded wicks in it I guess...

In the Big Hall various Designers are presented as Preen with beautiful beaded embroidery.Juun J.'s Trenchcoats. His trenchcoats variations will change during the exhibition because of the sand which will cover some of them. Those coats really gave me a feeling that I would want one to wear...Prada with bold stripes..Jill Sander (designed by Raf Simons) with the -already famous- colourblocking collection with matching shoes which soles were reflecting on the white floor.

But the HighLight for me was the collection from Klavers Van Engelen which came alive with big ventilators and beautiful music. Movement and moving in a way..and very elegant dresses!!

There is much more to be seen..but go for yourself and enjoy!!

Because this month Arnhem is the Fashion City of Holland the Modern Art Museum in Arhem made an exhibition with dresses from Spijkers en Spijkers over the years. One collection was presented in a mirror setting, so everything could be seen.

The other exhibition with the title "Get Real/ Real Self" and developed by Joke Robaard (who once wrote an article about my collection when I graduated) and Giene Steenman. It tells the story of garments. What is real? What is designed? Those 3 anoraks could have been designed by f.e. Helmut Lang but they are made and worn by fisherman from Greenland. I simply love the simple red embroidery. Kind of very intelectual approach to garments but also and idea that garments can be a topic for communication between people.

At 16.30 hrs. I was invited for a photoshoot at Studio Amber. A stylist, make-up artist and hairdresser were available and so was the good photographer Mieke Gresnigt who brought me in a very good mood (good photographers can do that) The idea came from Suze May Sho and the thought behind it was to have ordinary people dressed up in something completely different they normally wear and place them in a setting designed by artists. I can't show the picture yet, but in my next post you wil see me dressed in a great trouser from Henrik Vibskov..but here is a sneak preview to the setting I was placed in and painted by Gijs Frieling..It was really a nice experience to be a model for a moment. So thanks to all who made me feel so Special!!

A Working Day...

2011-05-30T00:44:00.001-07:00

Woke up at 5.45.
Breakfast,Shower,Dressed.
Left the house at 7.
Walk to the railwaystation.
Saw those swans.. Trainride with a good book while listening to Adele 21. I set fire to the rain.
Walked to school and arrived there at 8.10
Coffee, mailcheck.
8.45: Examns Financial Management till 10.
Break till 10.30. Coffee.
Lessons Short Course till 12.
Inbetween having a look at toiles from level 3.
A pincushion from a level 3 Student.
Work from level 4 students Couture Department.
No lunch.
Presentations from First Year Fashion Management Students.
Before leaving school a quick view at work from the 4th year and leaving school at 16.20.
Just had time to buy tea at AH to go.
Now in the train heading home.
Came home at 17.20 hrs My first blog written on my phone. I really don't know how it will look when I publish it...so, let's have a go..NOW...

Later that afternoon I found out that the pictures were not in the right order... changed them now..

This post was just about a normal day, as a lot of people have..but even ordinary days can be nice and special.

Knitting is the Red Thread in my life...

2011-05-29T07:13:00.001-07:00

This morning I had to go to Galerie Agnes Raben in Vorden to talk about my passion for knitting and what knitting means to me. It all started with my neighbour Ellen Korth who started about a year ago a Project called "Utilité". The content of the project are women and men who have a passion for textile-crafts..either spinning, weaving, knitting, crochet, felting...and more. She took pictures from all of them, and their work, did an interview and asked for a written article about the reason why everybody loved their passion. Since Ellen is my neighbour and because she has often see me knitting in front of the house I also would be a part of this project.

About 3 weeks ago 2 exhibitions(1 in Deventer at the Bergkerk and the other 1 in Vorden at Agnes Raben) were open to the public and the matching book was presented. I really love the book. The way it looks from the outside. My pages with the Heart I did knit for Bram when he was in the Rehab Centre (that also is in the exhibition in De Bergkerk and a lot of people are touched by it and by the story about it) My hands while knitting Still Life from projects I was working on. The written text. And a beautiful picture from me knitting in the livingroom. I really love this picture because I feel this is really me.

My knittingfriends Carla, Brent, Marnel are also in the book and it gives a nice view into their life.

So this morning I was invited to have a talk with Ellen about my passion for knitting..I didn't prepare anything, took some books and knitting with me and off it went. Guess being a teacher makes talking much easier. After the question why I was knitting I didn't stop talking and for more than 1 hour I had this rather pleasant monologue which everybody seems to enjoy. Everything passed by..my mother: who was a keen dressmaker and a very good knitter, my gran: who was very good in crochet, my first knitting needles which were always kept in my workdesk for years, my picking up knititng years ago and the kind of addiction to it till now. I found out that knitting alays has and probably will be a kind af "Red Thread" during my life. It connects me with myself, my family and the joy of making something really beautiful and giving it away is something I love doing. Before leaving my friend Tiny took a picture from me knitting in front of the big photo while Ellen was taking also pictures from me (yes, I did wear the same shirt...)

But talking about "Red Thread", the International Textile-Project our school was involved in. We had the last meeting 2 weeks ago in Glasgow. Students from my school in Enschede,Scotland and Slovakia made a lot of products to sell. After marketing the products in town. Yes, teachers came up with this Red line over the bridge to the store. There were: Telephone-cosies buttons and handmade labels printed tea-towelsblankets cushions..etc. and all made in collaboration with the other schools. The project was a joy to work on and we have this idea to continue with the label without funding. Maybe one day the label really will hit the market...

Next to the "sale-day"we also had a trip to Edinburgh (always nice) A nice lunch with all the Scottisch colleagues and Rob and Ria. A little Yarn-shopping for me...

The last day was about evaluation and being the organizer of this project you can see that I really love this part of my job. To work on something new and exiting with other schools and writing International Projects...my work wouldn't be so nice I guess.

And after the evaluation the tradition is to give little gifts to eachother. This time I got the idea to give all my female colleagues and handknitted lace shawl..and they all loved it!!!

And I also got a beautiful handmade scarf made by very talented young student Stewart from Cardonald College. Being a big Scotland Fan this shawl has embroided names from all Scottish Rivers.

After lunch we had a little tour in West End with a visit to Kelvingrove Museum (Loved this old Tartan) and a tour among the University...and this part is used in the Harry Potter Books..

We had a nice farewell dinner and the next day we all went back by plane to Holland.

Red Thread can mean a lot to me..or as they say in China: There is an ancient Chinese belief which states that there is an invisible red thread that connects each of us to all of the individuals who have been, currently are, and will in the future be important to us in our lives. This red thread can stretch, twist, and bend… but will never break.

Life...

2011-05-18T10:49:00.000-07:00

I came home this afternoon from a very touching funeral. It happend to be the lawyer Bram had to take when he lost his job years ago at the age 0f 65, his wife was singing in a choir I sang in for years and his daughter A was a former fashion design student of mine. When I read about his passing away in the newspaper I immediately felt that I had to go this afternoon, despite the fact that my student had to do a fashionshow this afternoon in the museum in Enschede. It was good to be there. I met up with 3 -also former students- who graduated 3 years ago and where in the same class as my student was.

During the memorial tales were told about this special man and his 2 daughters and wife. It made me cry with their touching stories about how they loved there father/ husband and how special he was for them. Very brave if you do that in a full room with a lot of people. For me it was special to stand inbetween my former students who have become great young women. I have had them 4 years in my classroom and I have never thought that one day we will be together at this special moment.

Guess I am having the age that more funerals will come in the future. It made me think how grateful I am that Bram and myself are still together and that I wake up every morning next to him. That we can talk and laugh...cry and be silent together.. It could have been so different if he wasn't rescued with is operation.

His health-condition is not very good at the moment and we feel it is running down a bit. Walking goes slow and he has a lack of energy... We have been to a cardiologist/ acupuncturist for a 2-nd opinion and he showed us that all is fine with his heart. He only wrote that his vegetative nervous system was out of balance which sounds reasonable after the operation he has had.Yesterday he has had a bowel examination in the hospital which shows that all is fine there.

The question now is: what to do next? Continue with acupuncture or footreflex-massage? Perhaps a Chines doctor? Within myself I notice that the fact that nothing is found till now makes me sort of insecure. I am a person who wants to do something instead of waiting.. Bram is now at a point that he wants to think about it for a while. I am not going to push him, he will come up with an idea I am sure. The fact that he looks so good also adds something to that uncertainty .. I often wonder how much ideas and thoughts are in my mind..But this all teaches me something from the important things in life (don't want to sound too heavenly..if you know what I mean..)

Tomorrow I have to wake up at 6, teach, work with students on their examn, meetings and talks. All very good to set my mind in another direction. Life has so many aspects I have found out in my life till now. Gratefull and blessed that I did meet Bram more than 28 years ago, that we are still together and that we have this great grandson which makes such a difference, that we are surrounded by good friends and family who take care of us in difficult times and that we have booked the holiday to Ireland for the coming summer (yes we have a cancellation insurance...)

I felt really that I had to write something about my life tonight...and yes.. I got this GREAT bag send by my dear friend Franzi which brings back such great memories from holidays long ago in Switzerland. Thanks so much and also for the American Lifestyle magazines. Love them and esspecially the item on Outstanding in the field Wouldn't it be great to have such a dinner in a field???

Paris in Spring..

2011-05-17T06:30:00.000-07:00

Yes..it was a long time ago I did write a blogpost.. Did start one..wasn't satisfied with it..no time during the holiday due to the fact that I was clearing out our house.. and last week I was in Glasgow to finish a schoolproject.

But 3 weeks ago I was now in the train off to Paris with 20 students and my colleague Annemiek (she is such fun to travel with!!). It is the trip we always do with 3th year students. Because there were 3 great fashion exhibitions in Paris we had a busy scedule in the 4 days we went.

We traveled in the most comfortable way: with the superfast Thalys from Schiphol Airport to Paris in about 3hrs (with a little delay).

After checked in into the hotel we took the bus to the metro and off we went to see the most cliche building from Paris: La Tour Eiffel. It was the right time to go there because it was getting darker and suddenly the lights flashed on and a big AAAAHHHH could be heared.

The building itself is a wonder of technique. Beautiful construction and esspecially at night you can see it all well with the big lights on it. We had the plan to go to the 3th floor, but there was a waitingtime from more than 1,5 hour..Instead of that we went to a terrace to have a glass of wine....

Day 2 was about a visit to the exhibition Fashion 1990 -2000 in the Musee Les Arts Décoratifs which is a part of Musee Du Louvre. It wasn't allowed to take pictures but it showed the big changes in fashion over this period. From the minimalism in dresses from Adeline Andre and Helmut lang till the over the top dresses from John Galliano. Beautiful presented with soft light on it. After lunch in the neighborhood we took the metro to the area of the Sacre Coeur to have a look at all fabric stores as Reine and Dreyfus at Marche Saint Pierre. It is piled with fabrics as this one with La Tour Eifel on it.. Simple stripes... Old fashion drawings... At Reine you can see those half scale dollies dressed in Liberty fabric.. In this area are many more fabric stores with names as... or... and.... Esspecially liked this one.. So this all was kind of fabric heaven....

Students than were free to go anywhere and after a quick look at Tati (which is the opposite of the garments we did see in the morning..so cheap, but who did the production???) we went off to the Marais which is such a great part of Paris.

>The Marais is original the Jewish Quarter from Paris but is also one of the most enjoyable places to go. Nice shops (vintage, new,interioraccecories..you name it) and restaurants everywhere and the combination with the jewish traditions makes it a special place to go. I had a very good icecream..saw this embroided bag.. and did find back a store which I visted about 15 years ago when I was for the last time in Paris named Loft. In the window was this outfit I really liked from the moment I saw it. So French with the striped shirt and the soft jeans trousers..and yes.. the next day I bought those 2 with a matching cardi..now I look like a little sailorboy..and that at my age... ;-) Also bought a striped shirt from my favourite Brand Agnes B
After a nice meal together with Annemiek and a view on the Notre Dame by night we went back to the hotel.
On day 3 we visted 2 exhbitions. In the morning we went to see the work of Madame Gres. This exhbition was so wonderful and made such a huge impression on me that I will write a special blogpost about the work and life from this extraordinair woman who made such a spectacular dresses..Inbetween the 2 exhibitions we had a little time for shopping and coffee and cake at Mamie Gateaux and the cake with cherries and pistachio tasted out of this world!!I also bought some nice socks for Bram from Tabio, a Japanes Brand who makes the most stunning socks. Bram is not the person who like to wear plain black or darkblue socks. No, he wants colour, dotts, blocks and even skulls...So he really likes the pair I bought for him.
And in the late afternoon we went to see Rive Gauche about the pret-a-porter collection from Yves Saint Laurent at the Fondation Pierre Bergé/ Yves Saint Laurent . The exhibition was small but made me smile due to the fact that I found some parts relating to my youth and the fashion worn at that time. Everything was placed in a setting as the boutique in Paris was at that time. Red walls and colourful garments from mini dresses till tuxedo's for women. Everything was there.. Yes..in my opinion YSL was a Genius at his time and his designs did fit perfectly at that time. Women must have felt great in his clothes..After that some late night shopping at Galeries Lafayette...had to buy some French clothes for little Jim from Petit Bateau..but at that shop I also wondered why we need all that luxury???I am always so split up in my mind when I am in such a store. I love it, it's big, great building, spectacular dome, beautiful clothes and presentations.... and hate it because I often feel that this world is so unreal: do we really need shoes from 1500 Euro, bags from 2500 Euro??? and is is really worth that price?...always difficult for me..
On the last morning we made a tour among some big fashion houses in the Rue Faubourg as Hermes, Dior, Miyake before heading back by train
When I am doing trips I always try to take pictures from a certain subject.. and try to make as many as possible... This time it was tiles in the metro.
More stories coming soon...about my life, knitting, Bram, the clearing out in the holiday, Glasgow, Red Thread...Promise..it won't take long.. Time to post NOW

Bitten by.... The LACE-BUG....

2011-04-03T06:26:00.000-07:00

That really is a long time ago I wrote an entry....No special reason for that..but now I am back again and I am not going to promise to write every week.

Yesterday I went together with Evelien to the first Knitting and Crochet Day (the last one is not my cup of tea, I am a knitter after all)in Nieuwegein. It was really- in my opinion- a much better fair than the other craft fair. Plenty of nice stalls with gorgeous yarns, space enough, good catering and best of all: Good Company. Because I am buying my yarns only when I know what I want to knit with it I came home with some beautiful lace yarn from Madeline Tosh...and the book Victorian Knitting Today with stunning examples. And that was not all, because Knitting friend Wendel gave me a beautiful goodie-bag (design Orla Kieley) filled with gorgeous yarns, a magazine and some roving and a beautiful postcard. (Thanks Wendel, I am very touched by this beautiful gift)

Yes.... I must admit: I am seriously bitten by the LACE BUG and who would have thought that last year when I told everyone that lace wasn't for me...I hope you don't think the picture on top is an attack from lacebugs on my beautiful knitting, but lacebugs really exist...(didn't know that sofar).After finishing my first lace shawl last year and my cowl adventure for my colleagues in winter I was hooked on lace. No more Fair Isle at the moment: it is lace that counts. The funny thing is that I never wear lace, so the shawls I am knitting will be given away in the future to dear female friends. But till now I keep them becaue I like to watch the pile grow..and grow...

Knitting as mentioned before is a thing with really fits into my life at the moment. It brings joy and happiness to me and because of the World Wide Web I get in touch with many knitters all around the world. So there is Mike who is doing the Great podcast Fiberbeat who did send me a beautiful skein of natural dyed yarn -from A Verb for Keeping Warm- because I did win the price in his Competition.

Than I won 2 more prices last months in the 11 shawls in 2011 group on Ravelry, so this beautiful bleu skein from Saffron Dyeworks came through the postbox. Such a rich colour. The second prize also came from that group and it is a skein of Wolle's Yarn Creations. A beautiful cotton which goes from red to earth. Guess it is nice for a shawl.

And I got even more spoilt with 2 skeins Swedish yarn I did get from a friend who lives in Scotland. A beautifull single ply yarn from Färgkraft in 2 great colous. It is a rather strong yarn which will soften after a soak and blocked. I am knitting now with the grey one an Estonian Shawl after a pattern from the book Knitted lace of Estonia by Nancy Bush.This is just a little preview.

Estonian lace..... is really beautiful and special. It contains traditional patterns with names as Lilly of the Valley, five leave pattern and many more....and NUPPS, which are little bobbles and who give a 3 dimensional effect. Also on the needles is a shawl (also from Nancy's book) in cashmere /silk yarn (from the Belgian Boys: Bart & Francis) with those nupps and the lilly of the valley pattern. This will be a very luxury shawl, and I have someone in my head already who will get this one.

The patterns from her book are really well written. Last summer I did buy lace yarn at Jamieson & Smith and I have used it for my (till sofar) biggest project. Lace is magical. Who would have thought that out of this piece of knitting will grow this shawl after a soak and strong blocking?

So the coming months I will work on more lace....This afternoon my knittingfriend Dagmar brought me this book from De Afstap , a yarn shop in Amsterdam. It is a book full of pattern-treasures and toghether with my other book (very dificult to find but thanks to Ravelry and Liina who did find it for me in Talinn) it will be a startingpoint for more lace. I know from myself that when I am "into something, no matter what" I want to know as much as possible. For that reason I took a workshop yesterday in the True lace technique from Monique Boonstra. It is a technique which needs a lot of concentration but after you understand the pattern it is not that difficult. I managed to make a pattern-swatch in True Lace -even without a mistake- which is also in my first project from the Victorian Lace Today book. So more lace to come in the next entries.

Next to that there is always my general interest in Textiles. 9 days ago I visited together with her and Evelien the Textiel-Plus day in my town Deventer. Not sure what to expect (very difficult and unreadeable website) but it turned out to be rather intersting with traditional Chinese hats, modern sculptures from Barbara Polderman , interesting potts made of textile and dipped in rubber and beautiful porcelain vases in the shape of yarnballs and interesting videos with new ideas for jewelery

Many more things have happened ofcourse as watching the Movie: The King's Speech which was amazing with Helena Bonham Carter, Colin Firth and Guy Pearce in the leading rolls,the search for a new kitchen,the coaching job I am doing at the moment which goes well, the plans for doing more with coaching in the future, the feeling that it all comes back at work and that I am really enjoying it, the heavy talk with my class who are doing great after it.....

And ofcourse Bram's health situation which is not going well at the moment. He has the feeling that there is no more progres at the moment and that it is going down. So this afternoon we will visit a cardiologist who also works with acupuncture. Hopefully he can find out why his energy is kind of leaking and why he doesn't feel well. It is sometimes still slightly worrying. My hopes have been after the operation that it would go upwards and that we could do more things together. But that isn't the way it goes. Guess it is a learningcurve of life for the both of us. Looking at the things which are possible is better that watching it the other way round cause that is really depressing. Usually I can handle it and if not we talk about it which always helps. And writing about it also helps to calm my mind and watch it in the right perspective.

Tomorrow-night I am going together with 2 friends to a concert in Tivoli, Utrecht from Jon Grant who has the most amazing lyrics. Listen to this....Some day just chickenbones..love those words...

Perfect Grey Day

2011-01-23T05:10:00.001-08:00

Today is Grey and this is not my favourite time of the year. This grey light outside (this is the view from the window in my rather messy workroom) makes everything sort of pale. So the perfect day to stay inside -well, not really: we just had a coffee in Almen which we usual do on Sundays- to write some mails and to write a post here.In a way it is the perfect day today.

Lots of things had happened over the last weeks after the holiday but one of the important one is that I will work all my hours in school starting from the 1th of February. It will be very busy with teaching at Medium and High level, but hopefully it will give me a good feeling that I am back in my work environment. My colleagues from Glasgow and Puchov with a group of students will arrive on the 1th of February for a few project days in our school. We know each-other for so long already, that it feels like friends coming over and next to the work we always have a good time together. This week I will do the last things on the program as planning dinners in restaurants and a museum visit in Amsterdam.

Over the last 2 Friday afternoons when Bram was in the rehab-centre for therapy I went to the Movies (hadn't been so long) and saw 2 rather different films. The first one was L'Amour Fou about the life from Yves Saint Laurent and the sale of the big Art collection. To tell the truth: I came out rather depressed. Not my kind of life. Of course his designs have been the top in the fashion world and have done a great job in liberating women.Le Smoking, the wonderful Russian collection, the Mondriaan dresses..it was all there. I can see that, but on the other hand he was -in my opinion- a very sad person. Addicted to drugs and alcohol (you see him turning up on the catwalk in different stages in that period)and rather selfish and not very pleasant to me. Yes, he was one of the greatest and most influential fashion designer from the last era. When I was young I have dreamed of becoming a fashion designer with such a talent (the truth is: I don't have that talent), but watching this I am glad my life has turned another way.

Last Friday I did see the total opposite by watching the latest Woody Allen: You will meet a tall dark stranger. Really funny and I had a good laugh. It still feels a bit strange to go to the cinema without Bram (we used to go usually once a week) but that's part of the learning of life curve I am in now) and I met up with some acquaintances which was nice.

Bram had his last therapy in the Rehab centre last Friday and is very relieved that he doesn't need to go there any more. The surroundings were not uplifting for him and he will now go twice a week at another centre where he can go by car instead of the little van who picked him up 3 times a week. His recovery goes very slow but compared to how he was it is a change. Not really a big one, but last week I have brought the wheelchair back and hopefully we don't need it any more in the future.

But all that has happened to us over the last year(s) is also bringing insight in to life. Still not sure what it is but I feel something is changing inside my mind and soul. Time will learn I guess, and the coming period I will visit my "Personal Shrink" to help me getting more in balance with myself. I know my condition is not back at all, feel very tired after 1 day teaching and really need to take good care of myself the coming months. Or as the company doctor wrote: he is coming back,teaching all his hours, but it will go up and down. Still, I am very pleased with the way I have conquered everything so far.

And yes: I did knit over the last weeks as usual. Knitting really has become a part of my daily routine. And today I was just thinking about how many persons I know in the knitting-world and how Internet has been very important to meet up. Communities as Ravelry and Facebook are a part of the things I do during the days. But it is always a surprise if suddenly -out of the blue- a package from New Zealand arrives containing a beautiful skein of hand dyed sock yarn. (Thanks James and hopefully we will meet up when you come to Holland)

On the 13th of this month when I opened the mail box from Ravelry I found a mail from Mike (aka WonderMike) in which he wrote: My random number generator has selected your name as the winner of the Three Irish Girls drawing for Fiber Beat Episode #13. and I was allowed to choose a skein of yarn form the new lookbook from the Three Irish Girls and I just got a mail from Sharon that I also will receive a printed copy of the book next to my skein of sockyarn in the beautiful Red Rona colour. So I felt so lucky and great to win this great price (Thanks again Mike and Sharon!!!) Mike is having a great Podcast named Fiberbeat which is my favourite knitting podcast. I usual listen to the latest episode when I am in the train to work and very often it makes me laugh. The combination of the music and the theme is always good and witty! Due to my telephone repair I keep the latest episode about Brandon Mably and Kaffe Fassett till I have him back (gosh I really miss him and I already know that my next one definitely will be an IPhone!!)

As mentioned: I knit everyday and suddenly after finally finishing my Clockwork :Great yarn from the The Sanguine Gryphon but a bit boring (all those knit stitches!!)at the endthe lace virus has hit me sort off.. I never had much with lace. Didn't know what to do with it. But after knitting my first Ishbel from the lovely Ysolda I suddenly became totally addicted to lace.This one is knitted in Blue Moon Sock that Rock yarn I got from Amysue Chase when Bram was in the hospital Ishbel is a very pretty and not difficult at all lace pattern. So after the pink one came one in honey coloured Shibui Knit sock yarn (knitted up heavenly)and last week another much bigger one came off the needles in Red Aran Tweed yarn knitted on needle 5,5. I always love to see a pattern in various yarns and always wonder how it would look knitted in a more thicker yarn.

For that reason I love the designs from Jared which you can find on his site: Brooklyn Tweed. At the moment I have the Terra on the needles also in the red tweed yarn which is a great knit. I have plans to knit the Autumn Leaves also. By knitting it on thicker needles the lace becomes not so feminine, more sturdy in a way. Not sure yet who will get the shawls and when I give them away, because at the moment I love to watch the result.

My (or better said) our Art work has become on the 2nd place for long time now. No inspiration, other things on my mind and many more topics why it was so difficult to go back into this really loved part of my creativity. But now we are giving it a go by going back to embroidery. Not sure yet where we will arrive but the starting point is here: A while linen fabric and white yarn and I have to do something with it..and no, the black ???? are not part of it...time will tell. I have a vague idea but not sure if I have that finished before Wednesday. But it is nice to start again.

Time now for tea, some knitting and some mails I have to write....

Shetland....Fleece..Fair Isle..Lace...and a special lunch

2010-12-22T05:22:00.000-08:00

As promised I should write a post about my knitting adventures which I had the last summer-holiday in Shetland. On one of the first days (maybe it was the first day)I walked into Tesco and suddenly out of the blue I got a Big Hug and a Hey Jan...and there was Connie promoting salmon at the entrance of the supermarket. Connie used to work at Jamieson & Smith (The wool-brokers) but changed job. She is a half-Kiwi and half-Shetland girl and is now living in Lerwick for the time being before going back to New Zealand with her husband (who comes from Shetland ofcourse!!) She immediately told me that Jared Flood (yes: THE Brooklyntweed!)was coming to Shetland with another bunch of knitters and the Parents of Ravelry: Jess and Casey. And the next question was: please do come on Thursday for lunch in the Shetland museum and you can meet up with them.

So I went there with my dear friend Birgit (who was my girlfriend long, long ago, but we are still very good friends) and we had lunch with Jared, Gudrun Johnston, Mary Jane Mucklestone (from whom I had bought a pattern and yarn at J&S the summer before to knit her Luke's Diced Vest: still not on the needles...), Ysolda Teague, a model who's name I forgot and Jess and Casey from Ravelry. Than there was Connie of-course and Auntie Grace who taught some knitting during lunch. All very pleasant, good food (Mike the chef in the restaurant is GREAT!!) and later we took pictures as a group. I had taken some pictures but none of them were so good as this one from Jess, so I hope she doesn't mind that I am using this one. They all had came up to Shetland for holiday, but also for photo-shoots by Jared for books from Ysolda and Gudrun. It was really nice to have met them and they all signed my diary.So a delightful lunch worth to remember.

Whenever you are on Shetland in the summer you can visit Country shows where a lot of items are displayed. We went to the one in Voe on a rainy day in a very muddy field and it was kind of scary to drive the car down the hill on the slippery ground. Guess they must have thaught: how can we tease that Dutchman! Let's see if he can drive and after a close look before going down which track too choose it all went fine..There are competitions for cake-making, knitwear, the best sheep etcetera... and of course : the best fleece from Shetland sheep can be found there. This one is the winner: a beautiful grey. They told me that this colour is hard to get in this quality. Most of the fleece (as been told)is bought by Jamieson & Smith in Lerwick and in summer all fleeces are coming in their shed. The amount of different natural shades is enormous.Browns, greys, whites and everything in between. Dark, almost black fleece is peeping out from the packaging.Baskets full of creamy fleece.. After selecting and taking out the best fleeces everything is send to Yorkshire to be spun in the gorgeous yarns J&S sells in their shop.

In the past, long before artificial dying was invented people used to knit with only the natural colours as can be seen in those socks and gloves which are on display in the Shetland museum. They were knitted by Shetland women and sold to the fisherman from Holland who came to fish on herring. There always has been a big connection between the Dutch and the inhabitants from Shetland.

Also knit in natural colours is the Shetland Hap: a scarf with a knitted square in the middle and a lace border round it. Usually knitted in the Old Shell pattern and an example can be seen here (nr 38) The Shetland Museum has an open digital archive (really wort to have a look around there) and if you look at the pile of Hap's behind these women you can see that is was really a big trade at that time.

On one of the last days I bought some beautiful and really soft hand-spun at the Textile museum in the Böd of Gremista. Probably not enough for a Hap, but maybe I try to mix it with some Icelandic natural dyed yarn I have in my stash. But is is really soft as butter...

The natural yarns are still used in knitted articles often seen nowadays. I noticed this beautiful cap worn at the Voe show. And later Tiny took a picture of me wearing a cap Simon King did wear in his Shetland Diaries serie and this one was waiting for him. Mind you: I did sleep in his bed cause we rented the cottage he also stayed in while filming and now I did wear the hat he would get..)

And so we come to Fair Isle knitting. The knitwear in the most amazing colour-combinations and only used 2 colours in 1 row. My dream is to go one day to Fair Isle and knit Fair Isle there outside with a view on Shetland (if it is a clear day you can see it) but nothing came of that this time. In the Museum there a lots of examples of beautiful coloured Fair Isle knitwear. Beautifully displayed in a context as can be seen with this sweater in traditional Fair Isle colours with a beautiful painting next to it.

I was lucky that I could join an International Knitters-group for a special lecture about Shetland knitting and I did see some items (hand knit ofcourse!!) who are not on display in the museum. There was this nice coloured scarf (you definitely could wear it now: so fashionable) These sweaters in unusual colour combinations but in the traditional patterns as the OXO and the Norwegian Star. Also on the table was this one: a Fair Isle knitted cardigan but not in traditional patterns and colours and it looks so modern to me. But there were also socks knitted in such a small gauge in the most stunning colours. How I would love to wear those.

But for me the most beautiful item was this view from a knitter on Fair isle. Knitted in a soft white yarn and shiny blue glass beads in traditional patterns. Probably from the 30's or 40's but I guess when I would see a woman wearing this now I would ask her if I could take a picture of her. This really looks so Now and Modern to me.

Fair Isle items can still be bought on Shetland. Usually knitted on a machine but often in special colour combinations. Jamiesons sells them but unfortunately my size wasn't there.Last year I got a beautiful one from Bram for my birthday and my colleague Tjabele (a really good photographer!!) in school once made this stunning photo. I picked it from my page on FB, so guess it is not a problem for him.. Otherwise I would have loved to have a slipover in this colour combinations. We were having lunch in the museum and friend Lorna is on the right.

But there was much more worth to see at that lecture: LACE in the most high quality I have ever seen. How about this one: A finely handspun woollen yarn and such a tiny stitches and stitch patterns. How many hours did it take to complete this one? Another lace border can be seen in the museum and there is a magnifying glass above it to see the stitches.I am not a lace knitter myself, no not really, but this Print and the Waves pattern is one I really would like to knit in the future. The origin of the Shetland lace can be found in the Unst heritage centre on the most northerly island named Unst. There, a lot of examples can be found and in all different stitch-variations as can be seen on this picture. I have many more pictures of traditional examples but I don't want this post to be a photo-album.

I am going to end this post with a rather different approach to lace knitting. On the first sunday of our stay we visited the Bonhoga Gallery to see the exhibition MirrieLace. Lace was knitted by experienced lace knitters and these tiny fragments were projected on the walls of the museum. Beautiful to see and to be in.

December thoughts...

2010-12-20T06:29:00.000-08:00

Yes, December has arrived in full swing. It is really winter with loads of snow: >Love it!! And I am enjoying my 2 weeks holiday. So, the plan was to write a blog-post over things happening over the last weeks. In the beginning of December a new school-project did start and to get inspiration my students and my colleague had to go to Museum Twentse Welle in Enschede to get an insight in the textile collection. They need to design a man or woman winter-coat for a competition. The inspiration needs to come out of traditional textiles. So on a cold and snowy winter-morning we went there. The collection is not that spectacular but worth while to see.One of the reasons is that the region Twente was a very poor region. Originally there was a lot of textile production, but most of that has left and garments are now mostly made in the much cheaper Far East. Most of the garments from the collection are worn by richer women or men and all from the workers has disappeared. So there were beautiful striped handwoven skirts who used to be worn under more skirts. In the green one you can even see a little repair, probably a hole.

From the first time I did see a wool shiny damask I fell in love with it.The colours and the shine and the richness of the fabric. Used for over-skirts in the 18th Century and than only for the very rich. and for man used in waitscoats as can be seen in this example. Look at the handmade blue buttonholes and the shiny buttons. So Macho at that time!!

I have discovered over the years that I am more a textile man than a fashion man. Textiles have always done something to me. The history of it, the the craftsmanship, the secrets who have become into the garments when wearing it, the touch of it. Who made these pair of over-stockings and who did wear them? Which man or woman made these beautiful embroidered buttons? And how many hours took it to make this simple shirt for a worker without a sewingmachine.. Which woman did wear this kind of underwear and did she repair it herself or was someone else doing it for her?How difficult it must have been to make this without good lights? The Human Touch and appeal to textiles is one of the things which can really touch me. Garments are your second skin and tell a lot of stories.

Guess it has to do that my mother has always made garments from as long as I can remember. She used to buy the fabrics on the market and must have made hundreds of items. Always using patterns from Marion or Burda. She has made me shirts,trousers, a brown safari suit and much more from a very young age till round my 16th. This is me with my mother at a wedding and I must have been round 6 or 7 and the striped shirt was made by her. At that age I got my first pair of Lois jeans and a red T-shirt and from than on I preferred the garments bought in a shop. But she kept making things for herself. Evening dresses for her 25th Wedding with my father and for the wedding from my brother, summer dresses and winter outfits with matching hand-knit sweaters. I don't have many pictures of that but will ask my father if he has some.

The older I get the more I am sometimes touched by my own family history. My mother who had to come to work at at home after primary school because my grandmother was ill and needed a hand. Here she is wearing the white dress and the shoes from her brother, which she always hated to wear she often has told me when I asked her about her youth. A young girl who also must have her dreams about her life. She always told me that he dream would have been to be a dietician in a hospital. But the war came and the marriage with my father and at those days it was the woman who had to stay home and take care of the children (We ,the 3 brothers and I came last when my mother was 40). Looking now at the pictures from my parents when they were young I see 2 beautiful young persons with a future in there eyes. I sometimes really miss my mother and those feelings suddenly can turn up. She passed away in 2001. My father is still alive and doing well under the circumstances of his age. He is still very active and the older I get the more we look alike in many ways I see.

At my work I still don't have the feeling that I am connected with everything. I guess all the things happened over the last months have to do with it. Yesterday at my psychotherapist we talked about it and she told me that it will take much more time to get everything back in perspective where it belongs. There are still a lot of tears coming every now and than and sometimes at unexpected moments. To get trust in everything is the main part of it. Trust in him, trust in myself, trust in life and future. Security is something I need now after the insecure years. That is why I am touched my X-mas music, homely scenes in magazines etc.

I did knit my colleagues cowls and mittens for a X-mas gift and they loved it. My colleague Onno made this pictures of them.Not everyone was there because of flue and other illnesses These weeks are full of dinner-parties. We did start of last Friday with a dinner at the studio from the Spacecowboys (the best X-mas dinner I always think: nothing can beat that!!) We know each-other so long and it is always great to meet up with friends there. There is good food and good wine and good company: what else do you want. This year it was a mushroom soup, a chicken curry with salad and coffee with cakes and cookies. Bram also came and stayed more than 2 hours which was so nice for the both of us. Sorry for the bad picture , but it gives an impression.

Next was the dinner from our street (round 20 persons). We all cook something. I am usually making the dessert which was a warm apple crumble with home made vanilla sauce and meringues dripped with dark chocolate.. It was all a bit in a rush because before the dinner I went to a concert from NoBlues and came home too late (but it was such a good concert!!)

And last night opposite of our house there was an opening night from the Centrum voor Menskracht (centre for Human Power) and the whole street was invited. It is a beautiful building with high ceilings and a nice garden. Very atmospheric!! There was gluhwein, lots of food and sweets, workshops to be done and a nice atmosphere ending with music made by a World music group. More dinners are coming up the coming weeks

And yes, of course: I am knitting. Currently working on the Ringwood gloves from Knitty and will finish them hopefully today, so I can wear them in this cold weather.

I am planning to write more posts the coming days about... well..you will see and read..But till now I hope you enjoy the winter XX

Reflection....

2010-12-02T04:41:00.001-08:00

Weeks have gone by without writing a post. Guess too much on my mind was the reason and the joy of having Bram at home was part of it too. It felt as a new beginning in a way and there was no need to write. Just enjoying the days spending with him was the main part of my life after all the weeks he wasn't at home. Bram looks much better. The colour of his skin is very good and he returns in a way the way he was. Wicked and naughty and with a sparkle in his eyes. My "old Bram" has returned. It is the Bram I fell in love with almost 28 years ago.Opposite of me in a way but our connection has become so strong over al the years we are together. He now can walk a little stroll into town which he couldn't do for such a long time (the last time I drove him in the wheelchair) and the first time we walked to the little coffee shop I felt so good. So long ago we walked together in town.

I feel that now my time of dealing with it all has arrived and next to al the happines there are also moments of fear, sadness and realizing that all could have been so different. I could have lost him and would be alone now which is a very frightening feeling in a way. We all will leave one day planet earth and I know logically he will go first and he is older and nature is like that...but that brings a lot of uncertainty in a way to me. Realizing this all makes me slightly uncertain and over the last weeks I have cried a lot which is a huge relief. The visits to the psychotherapist really helps me a lot.It clears my mind and gives a lot of insight in myself. I have been so much in contact with the real things of live we have to deal with. Death, fear of loosing, Life in all its glory, Relief, Anger and Pain and Sorrow...It will take some more time to heal it all. In a way I am so blessed that he is still with me and that we are surrounded by so many loving people who took so much care of us.

I have started work a little over the last weeks and I did teach my first 4 lessons last Monday and Tuesday which all went very well. Young people can be so touching. After telling all that has happened to me to a 2nd year class one of the students said that she felt special because I did share the story with them and that it was the first time a teacher spoke so open about his personal life. For me it is important to be open and I have found out over the past that being open gives you a lot in return. The coming weeks till the holiday will be about 2 days in school on Monday and Tuesday and after the holiday I will pick the Thursday with it and in the next semester the plan is that I will work 4 days as usual. School and the Doctor of the school are very supporting and I am grateful for that. Going back to school was not a big step for me, but coming back after a few months gives me a fresh look to it. Some of my colleagues are ill or part-time returning at the moment and that puts a lot of pressure to the team. I have missed them and my students over the past months and realize now how important my work is for me.

As mentioned before: knitting has helped me to come over it in a way. Stitch by stitch..But at home it was sometimes as living in a yarn store. Over the years I had bought so many different yarns and it would take years to knit it all away. I am simply such a yarn lover....cashmere, 100% wool, silk, hand-dyed..it can all bring me in a kind of heavenly mood. Had it all my life..when I see yarn: I have to touch it....and when it is beautiful it was time to buy. Big Ikea boxes were filled with beautiful sock-yarns, Shetland leftovers, Icelandic Lopi yarn and many, many more.This really isn't all I have.... This is I guess called: ADDICTION!!!! Time to make a step...On Ravelry I did start a group called: Cold Sheep, which means that you are not going to buy yarn over a certain period. My idea was not to buy yarn till November 2011 with books and needles not included. Getting yarn or swapping is not a problem, and the yarn I ordered before going C.S. was not included. I did win a beautiful skein of lace yarn in a colour competition from Easyknits (should have met Jon today in Amsterdam but due to no flights from London cause of heavy snow we sadly won't meet up) and a few days later some yarn from Malabrigo (soft as butter), Shibui and Madeline Tosh arrived (had to pay 22 Euro Tax!!!). I swapped some yarn to get 3 skeins of Shelter to knit a green version (named Button Jar) of the Wayfarer scarf from Jared Flood after I knitted this red version. The yarn is wonderful to knit with. Very authentic, slightly sturdy when you knit with it, but gets really soft and drapey after a soak in soapy water. So now is the time to finish all my WIP's (Work in Progress) as there are: a pair of socks a beaded lace shawl, a top down sweater, a cardi, 2 scarves and a secret project....so plenty to knit the coming season.

I still have the plan to write more about the last holiday on Shetland: more about the great lunch with Jared, Ysolda, Jess and Casey, about lace, about the wonderful items from the Shetland museum... so that will come soon, I promise..

P.S.. Forgot to show: When Bram was in the rehab centre I made those cushion covers from fabric from Timorous Beasties. It is the Glasgow toile and it shows not only the nice side from Glasgow. Matched them with some Harris tweed.. and I love them.

Home is where the Heart is....

2010-10-31T03:14:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post... YES, he is coming home tomorrow morning...and we both are so looking forward to it. 8 weeks separation was a long time Just put new sheets on our bed and these wonderful cushion-covers I got as a birthday gift from my dear friend Tiny. She has embroidered this specially for us. I haven't used them till now. This is the perfect moment to start using them...

I want to thank everyone who has supported me and Bram over the last 8 weeks to deal with everything that was happening to us and I will keep you updated of course...Love you all!!!

One week to go....

2010-10-24T00:01:00.000-07:00

I got this card from my FB and knitting friend Marjoleine and this represents in a way my dealing with everything happening over the last weeks...

Last Monday Bram and myself had a talk with the doctor, physiotherapist and head of the department he stays and we came to the conclusion that on the 1th of November he can go home...So very good news. Of course he needs to have treatments to become stronger, so he will go 2 mornings and 1 afternoon to the Rehab centre for as long as it needs. I think after he gave up the feeling that he really didn't liked it there he became stronger and accepted the fact that it was necessary to stay there for a while and make the most of it. But.. the end of staying there is at the horizon.No more living alone for him in a small room and no more living alone for me in our house..Really looking forward to that!

To make this step going well we are doing it step by step. So we made a little trip to a restaurant for coffee, a trip into town to the hairdresser (I wrote on Facebook:has brought his Hubbie this afternoon to the hairdresser.... and from an over aged old Hippy with too long hair he became a sweet little boy...) with a coffee at our favourite place. On Friday (his birthday) we had again coffee with cake of course and than he stayed the whole afternoon at home laying on the couch and I could see he loved it to be home.Yesterday was more or less the same with the exception that he phoned me in the morning if I could come and pick him up. The reason for that was that he didn't feel at ease due to the fact that a dear friend of us who also stayed in the centre passed away on Friday and he had seen the big black car driving. We are both very sad but relieved for him because the state he was in was very sad. So I changed my plan, picked him up and he had a lovely afternoon at home. I made some soup, we had tea...and it felt as a Saturday as we used to have. Today will be more or less the same I think.

I am doing fine with ups and downs and with the help of my psychotherapist I will do steps to come over it and to deal with the fact that things will be different. Together with her and with time I will feel better. Now there are still so much tears when I am with her...still don't feel confident about everything deep inside.

On Wednesday I had a meeting at the after-care poli in the hospital to hear more about the operation and the consequences. One of the things that touched me was that after such an operation you will never be the old person you were before but you will be a kind of new, different person: a "new-old-one". You will also consider your life again and the way you deal with it. I feel that is really true. This whole experience has to bring something to our life. Not sure yet what that will be.. but the future will tell and learn.

After the autumn-break (this week) I will start working half a day a week which feels good.Do some tasks and not teaching yet. And than I am sure I can pick my life up again with working more when the time is ripe for it. In a way I miss my work, my colleagues, my students but on the other-hand I can't force it to feel 100% better and to work 100% right now.

The coming week I hope to make some new things for our house. I have brought the sewing-machine home a few weeks ago to make some new curtain in the bedroom and some cushions on the sofa but till now: nothing and no energy to do it. Strange in a way because they are really simple things to do but it seems that my days in the past weeks had no time to do those things. Probably the reason is that I am sometimes so tired and over the last 2 weeks I also had a tooth inflation (still there a little despite the fact that I use antibiotics). But the plan is to do it this week......

As for knitting and what's going on on the knitting front: I did finish my Wisp. Still not sure if I really like Noro yarn. There are always knots in it and than the colour-scheme changes. Really would have had more blue in it...Now I have the Clockwork from Stephen West on the needles in beautiful yarn from Sanguine Gryphon from the USA. Such a special yarn with very unusual colours and names. The yarn itself is a 100% superwash merino and the 2 are named: Hellenexi and Skeptic. It knits up beautiful and the yarn has a fantastic feel.Their site is beautiful and really worth to look at.

And than there was the long awaited book with my first sock pattern in it. I was asked by Madeline Weston (after my holiday last year on Shetland where we stayed in a cottage from Margaret Stuart:a friend of her) to design a pattern for the book with the name: Country Weekend Socks. Her first book was called Country Weekend Knits and that is one of my favourites. So I was very pleased to do this job. Asked my knitting friend Jon from Easyknits to dye a special colours for me in a soft merino bamboo yarn. I struggled a while because I wanted to use 3 colours but at the end I made the decision to use 2 for a stronger look. The pattern came from a pair of gloves I did see in the Shetland museum in Lerwick. For me the socks didn't need to be filled up totally with a pattern so I only did part of it. Don't think it feels always so comfortable to wear double thick socks in your shoes. So out came these and in the book they look really stunning if I dare say so. The styling is great (love the red stockings added to my socks) with garments from Toast and the overall look is very fashionable and "with a twist" to make it modern.

And I get spoiled so much with receiving yarns. There as a lovely hank Evilla yarn from Evelien, a little ball in various blue colours (thanks Hilly and Carla), a beautiful hank Blue Moon sock yarn from my FB friend Amysue ChaseMy Scottish colleagues gave me this big ball Big yarn as a gift.They had bought it in London..and wondered what I could make out of that. So I asked a local shop to make me some big needles and off it went.. Will be a cushion cover at the end!! And there was something really special. One day I discovered that Jared Flood and Debbie Stoller where having their own yarn-line and I wondered on FB when I would get one.. And yes: I got one!!! The very sweet Yvon from "Storm op Zolder" decided to name a new yarn after me. So here is "Jan". It is a very soft Aran weight yarn in a combination of Alpaca, Bamboo and Bluefaced Leicester. She was so nice to send me to hanks and I possibly will dye them. But for now they lay proud in the living-room.

To tell you the truth: I also ordered some yarn from Jared named Shelter in a red colour (called Long Johns) to knit his Wayfarer scarf and that all reminds me of a post I really need to write about my meeting up with him and more famous knitters last summer in the Shetland Museum in Lerwick..Perhaps the coming week I will find time to write this...

It's 2 weeks now....

2010-10-09T23:35:00.000-07:00

Bram is now 2 weeks in the Rehab centre and there is a certain progress. But it is - of course in the state he is in- little steps forward and sometimes the step he wants to take is too big. It is not easy for him to be there. Hardly any people he feels comfortable with and for a social person as he is that is hard to deal with. Of course I go there everyday and of course there are friends and family who visit him, but I can see and feel sometimes that he really would like to go home.I can understand that of course but on the other-hand he is not capable right now to do this. He looks good (as you can see in picture below)but that doesn't mean he is well and capable to go home. And if he comes home everything must be organized to make life easy for the both of us... Last weekend we did see grandson Jim after more that 3 months of not seeing him and it was touching to see him together with Bram. It has done us both well!!

One of the things why he can't come home is that his condition is still very weak and he is still very tired after a day. It all goes slower than he had hoped but on the other hand: it is only 5 weeks ago he had his myocardial infarction and 4 weeks ago he just had his operation so to be honest I don't think according the state he was in before it all happened he is doing well.

On Friday he got luckily another room to live in. In the room next to him a men stayed who has had a stroke and who screamed loudly during nights and who kept him awake and in another room in the corridor a woman also was very loud during the nights. So I found him Friday in a very sad state cause of the lack of sleep he had for some nights. We had a talk with a nurse and he got offered another room in another corridor. He is more happier now. The room is nicer and the view is nicer and he can see me enter and leaving the building. Quietness and silence is very important for his healing process.

But I now can see the reality of staying in a rehab centre. You have to be very active as a partner to get things done in the way you want them to happen and mustn't be afraid to ask for things. But it all goes slowly and you have to step forward if you want something extra. An example: we have had a talk (Friday before last Friday)with the doctor and he suggested to have a meeting with the speech therapist. Bram sometimes comes in a state of hyperventilation because of a wrong way of breathing. Nothing happens for almost a week.

I asked for it after 3 days....Is that so??....Yes, I will look for it in the papers.....Yes, we will arrange.....Nothing happens.....Ask again....O Yes.....We should have asked....at the end on Friday afternoon the speech therapist suddenly enters his room telling him that he has an appointment now...

I know you really can't blame al the staff for this. It is very busy and demanding job with a low salary. Not many young people want to do this kind of work in such surroundings. Last week I had a talk with some staff members telling them that I really think they were doing their utmost in the best way they could and that I was grateful for the things they were doing for Bram. They told me they hardly ever get such a compliment. They get more complaints than compliments which is really not right.

One of the strange things happening (talking about how to treat patients!!! or better how NOT to treat them) over the last week was a meeting with a man who -it was after all National Animal Day- set up a kind of farm inside the centre. There were chickens, rabbits, a little pony and donkey, little pigs and much more We had sat outside and just came in when almost all people were gone. We had a little chat with this men and he suddenly gave Bram a pig in his arms to hold and told me: yes.. it is so good for them to have these animals in their arms.. they immediately go back to their youth..it's healing when you are in such a state. He must have thought that Bram was demented so we helped him out of his dream!!!!!

Yesterday I took Bram for a little drive to a restaurant for a coffee and to have a little change in the day.He really was looking forward to it and really wanted to try it. Mixed feelings for the both of us afterwards. It was nice: we had a coffee outside in the sun, but on the other hand he and I could see that it was a too big step. He is still very fragile when you see him walking with is stick and was very tired afterwards. But it was in a way good to do this to see were his limits are and today we will stay home and make little walk round the pond.

And for me: up and down in emotions but yesterday afternoon I felt for the first time in all these week slightly depressed and had a hard time to deal with it. Tried everything (talk with a friend on a terrace,some shopping to cheer me up) but nothing really helped. At the end I decided to go for a little nap which more or less did well. I woke up when I heard a friend (who has the key from our house) entering and telling me that she had made some pumpkin-soup for me and she gave me a big Hug. Sleeping is still a bit of a problem so my doctor gave me some sleeping tablets (no, don't be afraid for addiction from my side) which helped for some nights. I try not to take them every night but only when I really need them, when I am really feeling exhausted.

I had a really good talk with the company doctor who invited me to come and tell the reason why I can't work at the moment. She was very emphatic and really could understand my feelings and lack of energy and that working for me now is too much. Next week she will give me a call to hear how am I doing. I started talks with my former psychotherapist with the idea to deal with my emotions and to get everything more into perspective. We had a very good first meeting and in 2 weeks time I will go again. I have to take care of myself too I feel otherwise I can't be there for him.

Knitting is one of the things I can do. Only simple things like scarves and hats. It seems that my mind can't do complicated knits. I did finish a big shawl which I did started when Bram was just in the Hospital. Probably a friend will get it but till than it hangs over a chair in the living room.

In Knitty I found a lovely knitted Heart which I did knit for Bram. A soft and extra heart, just in case he needs it. It was lovely to knit this with him in mind during all the stitches I knitted. When I had finished it I had to cry. Not difficult at all and with the little box I made to it it was a lovely gift to give. We both were touched when he opened the box.

Last night I just started another scarf (Wisp from Knitty) in Noro Silk garden sock yarn from my stash. There is yarn on it's way from the U.S.A. for the Clockwork scarf.

I still take pictures for my Rehab Blues photo project which helps me to deal with it all....

I am absolutely sure that at the end all will be fine, but dealing with it is not easy every now and than. Being positive is the best thing you can do but that also is not always easy. There are days when I come home in the evening when I feel kind of lost from everything. Not lost from friends (I get my attention) but lost from my safety and lost from my living in our house with the person I most love.The best thing than is to make me some tea and rethink and reflect about the day to get everything in the right perspective and to get something positive out of this period..

Living in a different World....

2010-09-28T13:43:00.000-07:00

After coming home tonight I felt really sad. Sad to leave him alone there and sad in the way that it is going this way right now...Writing all the things happening to us over the last few weeks has helped me to keep on track but I am not sure if this blogpost will do the same..

Yesterday Bram has left the hospital to go to a Medical Nursing Home for further treatment because in the state he is in now he can't come home right now. So we had a talk last week Friday with a lady who is in charge of the transfer from a patient either going home to a Rehab centre . All possibilities were discussed but there were not so much choices. There are 2 of those institutes in our city and both are situated in old buildings. For other places we either have to drive long distances or you are place in a bedroom with 3 other patients.. So we opted for a single room (I can't promise right now but will do my utmost for it!!) in a home in our city. Later that day the "Transfer-lady" came back with a big smile telling Bram that he would get a single room. We had heard stories about this home either positive or negative...

On Sunday-night I have baked an enormous batch of Brownies for all nurses and staff who have been so kind and helpful to Bram over the last weeks. He really felt at home in the hospital. Everything is strictly planned for the patients, the environment is beautiful and open and lot's of wood and light colours.The food is great with lot's of choices and very good presented which also helps the healing process when you are ill. Bram who was an interior architect, really admired the building from in and outside It is really a good place to recover.

But on Monday-morning he had to leave this place and I drove him to the PW Janssen Nursing Home were we had an intake on the 2nd floor.

The first thing we were told was: Single room??? No, you are on the list for a shared room. So immediately I told them that we were guaranteed for a single room so the staff-member left to find this out. She came back with: yes, you have a single room on this floor. It happens that a friend of us is there also who is in a far state of dimension so we told her that we didn't thought it was a good idea and that we wanted a room in another part. Reply: we have to ask for that: you than probably get a shared room.. At the end of the discussion he got his single room as we wanted..... The room was not ready at that moment, needed to be cleaned, so we were placed in a so called "living-room" after driving through a corridor full of wheelchairs, walkers with and without wheels and more Medical helpful tools...The room itself was full of horrible old -so called practical- furniture, unnecessary cupboards and 2 sleeping old men in wheelchairs.

And there was the smell of cooked food, urine and no fresh air at all.. Of course I know this from the time my mother had to stay in this kind of centre. And I know all stories about it from the papers and the television.... And I know it is difficult to get staff to do this kind of work.... And I know it all has to do with money.... And I know it might only be for about 6 weeks if things go well... And I know I shouldn't judge or compare it with the hospital he stayed in.. And I know we should give it a least a week to find out how he is taken care of... And I know the fact that he is still alive is more important... And I know...... And I know...... And I know...... But it is just hard for the 2 of us to deal with...

He staying in this horrible surrounding having dinner at a table with a woman who leaks her food out of her mouth and knowing that in a lot of these places the situation is more or less the same. The only thing you can do is go to a private place but we can't afford that. I think it is a missed opportunity that at the newly built hospital they didn't built a Nursing Rehab centre next to it.. He told me today that he had physiotherapy with a high walker they used in the hospital and walking went well with it but they couldn't find the other one any-more and they told him it was too far for him to go to his bedroom (he can do that in his own tempo I am sure as I have seen in the hospital)It was about 20 minutes he had and that was it for the day.. and he want to recover!!!!! Soon we will have a talk about his "care-plan"and we will definitely put this to discuss

Our friend Ineke came over tonight to cheer him up and he got tears in his eyes when he saw her and earlier on the day he was so happy to see me coming into his room. We talked about it and we are going to help him to come through and get him home as soon as possible. Bram is such a social person and seeing him surrounded by only old people makes him and me sad. There are hardly younger patients in the building which is so strange comparing it to our normal life we live. Of course he also belongs to the category "old" but no one sees him like that and his behaviour and mindset is so young. That is why we go so well together over all those years. We have so much in common, so much things we like to do together, so much things we share.

It is just not easy and while writing this I can't stop crying.I am sure we will go through it one way or the other. He will come home as soon as he can.

And myself..I am so tired sometimes during the day.Sleeping doesn't go well and there are so many things I have to think of.It sort of feels that it hits me more now than over the last weeks and coping with it all takes so much energy from me now. Something positive: I have finished the shawl I did start when Bram was taken to the hospital (will take a picture of it soon for my next post..promise!!) and I did start a new photo-book on Facebook with the name Rehab Blues because taking pictures did help me to cope with it over the last weeks and it has kept me focussed..