woensdag 25 februari 2015

Little progress


Yes, there is little progress. 
It is not that I feel a big difference in my body, but some of my movements at the physiotherapist go better.
Walking and standing for a few minutes is still hard to do.
My right arm often hurts when I do too much, so this writing is done with my left hand.
My neck and shoulders are also 'not very moveable', so they get a treatment too. Crack!
I still take those heavy painkillers.
But I am pleased with the progress.

It feels that a big part of my body is 'letting me down' right now.
STOP it says.
Stop and listen, and do what I direct you.
For me that is not an easy thing to do.
But if I want to get better I need to listen.
So I try to be a 'listener'.

The last week that I worked I took the bicycle to get to the railwaystation.
Cycling -strangly enough- didn't cause pain.
But the walk from the bicycle parking to the railwaystation caused a lot of pain.
And as said before: walking is a big problem at the moment.

My physiotherapist gave me the advice to cycle.
Good for my body and mind, and cheaper than taking a taxi.
Amsterdam is packed with bicycles, and till now there wasn't a reason to buy one.
Either we walk or take the cable car or metro if we need to go somewhere.

Yesterday I bought a second-hand bicycle.
With gear and a sturdy extra big lock (much needed here!)
A golden 'Gazelle'.
I parked it in front of our house.
The first thing I did this morning was to see if it was still there.
That it wasn't stolen.
And it was there 'glittering' in the sun.

Today I took the bike to go to the chemist to get my pills.
It is not far from where I live right now.
I really enjoyed it.
Fresh air.

Little steps forward it is.
But no matter how little: forward it is!

maandag 9 februari 2015

Back to reading it is

I type this post with my left hand.
Last week my excellent physiotherapist discovered that my right elbow is suffering with the name: 'tennis-elbow'.
His advice was to keep my arm calm.
No knitting!
(Bye bye scarf, yarns and needles)

Beware of using your mobile and tablet too much.
(my contact to the world)

Write as little as possible with pen or pencil.
(that very little movement gives a big reaction in your elbow).

My hernia is situated between L4 and L5 and below that there is something probably not well either.
My whole left leg is very painful when I walk. 
It will be alright said my physiotherapist, who, by the way is a very handsome man and that makes a difference when he is doing very painful movement with my body (breathe in, breathe out is my mantra at such moments!).
But it needs time and treatment.
And many taxi's to get to the hernia centre at Westerdok (€20,- one way!)

And painkillers.
I don't have a problem using them. 
They are chemical ofcourse, but isn't my whole body not a chemical factory?
They have names as: Lyrica and Oxycodon.
They sound like exotic cocktails, but aren't served in funny coacktailglasses with a straw, a little paper umbrella and a cherry on top.
Twice a day they make the pain a little weaker.
And they make me sleepy too (a nap a day keeps the doctor away as they say, or was it an apple a day?).
No driving is allowed and take care with alcohol.
I don't drive.
Very logical because my car isn't in Amsterdam.
But I do take a glass of wine in the evening.

So my day is now situated round reading the newspapers and books.
Nothing more, nothing less.
I love to read ever since I was that young boy who discovered the library.
Over the last years reading more or less stopped.
Knitting was what I did since Bram became ill.
I couldn't concentrate on books anymore.
Knitting has helped me to stay in the moment and to make beautiful things.

Back to reading it is now, because that is the only thing I can do next to daydreaming and letting go by the day in a pleasant way. (Coffee? Yes please.)
Reading will keep me busy I hope,and will bring me to new worlds and give other insights.
Luckily this house is filled with books and I can read for years without having to read a book twice.

At the moment I am reading: 'Kom hier dat ik U kus' by the Flemish writer Griet op de Beeck.
And after that 'Alice in Wonderland' in a new Dutch translation is waiting for me.

donderdag 5 februari 2015

At home

Months did go by and nothing was written here.
My other blog got all the attendance.
But tonight I felt that it was the moment to write here.
Because there is a reason.

I am suffering a hernia.
It started some weeks ago with pain in my back.
Two visits to my manual therapist didn't gave a result.
I thought that was strange because it has always worked.
My doctor immediately thought that is was a hernia.
Heavy painkillers, physiotherapy and rest must do the trick.
It is very painful and I can't work.
Walking is difficult and hundred metres ( and inbetween a few times rest) is the maximum.
It is all very tiresome.

Jos took me with him to his home in Amsterdam ,so he can take care of me.
I am glad he is there for me.
So here I am.
Days go by.
Sitting by the window with a view on a canal with houseboats.
Two hours up and one hour rest.
By taxi to the physiotherapist who is specialized in treating hernia patients.
I feel very dependent and can understand how Bram must have feeled.

What to do on a day when sometimes reading takes energy?
Believe it or not, I got back to knitting.
Evelien brought me some yarn, needles and the Barbara Walker knitting book.

I did cast on my 'Hernia scarf' in a simple slip stitch pattern.
A mindless knit it is.
Natural dyed yarn by Shilasdair.
Purple wool and blue silk.
When it is finished I will line it with a Liberty fabric.

Hopefully when it will be finished my hernia is over.
Cross your fingers.