The water from the river Ijssel -just 2 streets from our house- is rising. I always love this when it happens. Nature has his own rules. Sometimes it is floading over the street behind the quay. It won't happen this time...unfortunately.. So over the last days we made walks -while I push the wheelchair- among the river almost every day. I have found out that most people are very kind to "wheelchairpeople and their pusher". We can go on the little ferry as the first ones...people stop their car so we can cross the street etc.
And because Bram is wearing a great hat (originally mine, and No, I didn't knit that one... but it looks so great on him) he gets a lot of attention. Even in the Supermarket last week a lady came up to us to tell how wonderfull he looked with that hat.. She was right ofcourse!
So we took a walk on X-mas day with Jim (4 already!)and his Parents..and No, that red blanket is not specially for X-mas. The wheelchair. I remember a friend telling me that when he was pushing his -dare I say...Gorgeous Wife, because she is- he felt really connected with her. I couldn't understand that at that time, because pushing that wheelchair was so difficult for me. Now I understand that so much better..and Yes, Louis, you are right with that..and..Yes Maaike..You are Gorgeous! High Tide it is..
The Crossing takes longer...
Water in the park....looks like it is drowned..
Trees with their feet taking a bath..
Even the road is a bit flooded. This one we could take, while the next one was way to deep for my shoes.
Geese are flying over....
And are swimming in the river..
Beautiful vieuw on the City I love so much..
Hight Tide also some days in our life. Some days go more or less well, while others are difficult. Very painfull to see this happening to him. Very painfull for me too.. I try to do it the way we want, simply because I so love this man. But it is hard to see him going this way. The man I fell in love with, with is charm and enthousiasm, his drive and spirit, his opinions and emotions has now sometimes become a man who has fear in his eyes. Any day, anything can happen which can change everthing into another direction. We are both afraid for that..and, as my colleague Riky told me, that shenoticed that I was getting more nervous over the last months..she is right by that, but I simply can't change that now. It is all part of the proces we are in at the moment. But she did send us those beautiful little birds which was so lovely to get..
The fact of life is, that we are born alone, and that we die alone. We all know that, but we often push that far away..at least I do.. Saying goodbye was never a strong point from me. I remember on the ferry from Oslo to Kiel, that leaving Norway was so difficult. I wanted to stay there because I felt so good in that country. Guess that is the same with people you love..You just don't want them to leave you. December was different this year..maybe this was the last time together, Who knows what 2013 will bring....we all don't know that.. And No, I am not sad today, but it just different.. But we are surrounded by loving people which makes everything so much better. And, as for Knitting... No, I didn't finish my Odinn.. 2 sleeves still waiting.. I hardly did knit some rows on it, but it will be finished somewhere in 2013..and next to that..a good and cold winter hasn't arrived yet.. Didn't block my finished scarf..perhaps some day the coming week...it will be lined with a Liberty fabric.. A cowl for our New Great CleaningLady (she cleaned the bathroom, and now it looks like we have a new one...seriously!) will be cast on soon..and one for me too (Yes Jon, after your pattern!) Plan for the coming week... Clear out my workroom... Clear out other rooms... Assemble an Ikea cupboard.. Assemble more things from Ikea... I need to make new curtains..HELP! And RELAX a little bit..
When we were in Utrecht with my class, we also went to a pop-up shop named: DepArtmentStore..just opposite the museum. Packed with all kind of beautiful Handmade design.. And there he was... Waiting for me to be taken home.. I couldn't resist..
His name is: Karel-Jan. He is made by Lammers en Lammers.. And he now lives happily in our house. Don't know exactly why I fell for him? Perhaps the Sweetness of it..the little cut out heart.. The Nostalgic feeling he gave me... The little golden boat on his head, which looks like a crown.. (In my youth I have made loads of those paper boats).. Anyway..he is now standing in the window, but I hope to have a better place for him. Inbetween 2 windows, so he can look down on the crowd..
Perhaps his little sister with her red shoes will accompany him one day.. Ofcourse I will knit the coming weeks.. I have finished the Stripe and Dotts scarf.. My Odinn needs more knitting.. There is a FairIsle vest... And I want to read.. Reading... In the last year knitting has taken it over.. I find it hard to concentrate. Ofcourse I did read over the last years, but not that many books I used to read. When I discovered reading as a small boy, you could find me always next to a pile of books from the library.. I just loved reading..Addicted you can say.. From typical Dutch Children books as: De Kameleon till The Little House on the Prairie.. De Scheepsjongens van Bontekoe till Niels Holgersson.. But now I have found the Perfect Book that combines it all.. "Dreaming in Colour" the autobiography by Knittinghero Kaffe Fassett.
Packed with colour you can say..inside and outside.. This man has such a great feeling for colour. He is next to all his designs a very colourfull man himself. Featured are also interesting life-adventures from this very special man..
( I am sure what would have happened when I would have ran into him..what a beautiful eyes this man has!) I have read some parts already.. It is Very VERY GOOD and honest. And it is lavsishly illustrated..
I have some more books by him..
Glorious Knitting I bought 2nd hand in Dublin..and it is those pages I really like..
Where you can see how he gets his inspiration..it is all comes from good and sharp looking around.. Glorious Needlepoint I bought 2nd hand in Glasgow..and it also brings beautiful items as this cushion-cover..
Some years ago we went to see his exhibition in the ModeMuseum in Hasselt. Everything was there..knitting..embroidery..quilts...and.. He himself.. While watching a beautiful documentary about a trip he made to India and Vietnam he was sitting in front of us..drawing and writing in a notebook.. (I have lost the DVD The Colour Quest...Silly me, but I vividly see the scene where he changes plastic buckets on a market..and yes it looked better..very inspirational that DVD..) Normally I would have said something, but strangely for me I didn't dare to do that at that moment.. I still regret that.. Here I some snaps I took from that exhibition..Knitting, Embroidery and Quilts.. Beautiful!!
Not sure if I ever will knit or quilt a colourfull piece after a pattern from Kaffe..but he is inspirational I think for knitters all around the Globe.. It is tempting..really tempting.. Who knows what 2013...or 2014..2015..will do with that idea..
Knitters are Special People.. I know quite a lot of them... And..alltough some I have never met in real life, there is a connection between knitters worldwide. We find eachother on Ravelry and on Facebook. The Internet has made it all possible.. I feel you can say that Knitting Connects... In a previous post someone replied that knitting connects her with the past and the future. Knitting is like like living, but you keep everything in your own hands on 2 needles.. That is so true for me, but it also connects me with beautiful people all around the globe.. Dear Knitters, you all have helped me so much over the last years, when my and our private life has changed dramatically. There were postcards from America.. Skeins of beautiful yarn arrived here at home.. Touching mails and replies on my blogposts... It all helps me to deal with it all and feel connected with the world I am living in. Some would say..the Internet is not the real world. For me it is a real world, next to the world of my daily life.. Jon, my dear friend from London did send me 2 beuatiful skeins of yarn he dyed himself,with a little patternbook by himself as a Christmas gift.. And I just love that little gingerbreadhouse made by his husband Roy..
James from New Zealand did send a package and inside I found little handknit stockings filled with chocolat...
and he did send me his own hand dyed yarn already a few times... Linda from England did send me a few months ago a box full of loveliness..
Ulrike did send me 2 skeins of sockyarn in beautiful colours...
Marjoleine has send me so many cards..and yarn..and that stunning book from Kaffe Fasset I wrote about a few blogposts ago.. Monique and Ammerins did send me postcard from YarnHeaven Shetland..the place I love so much..
Herma often touches me with her replies on my blogposts..and when we meet up in real it is even better.. Michael in San Francisco is my example on how to wear a bowtie..and his podcast Fiberbeat is one of my favourites.. Evelien ofcourse, my knittinglandscape knitter in crime..who always spoils me with Yarn.. Franklin for me is one of the most talented knitters, and his cartoons on knitting always make me smile..besides that: his knowledge on the history of knitting is incredible.. Joe..who could forget Queer Joe..it seems to me he always knits..and yes, he also has a daily job..and I follow his blog for so many years.. Dorien, who I once met in my school is just a Darling..Blue Auracania I got from her at that time.. Than there is Mary Jane..we met in Shetland..we have seen eachother once..but there was a connection immediately.. Sean, who is a great knitter and who produced "Knitting Untangled" with the help of his knittingfriends.. Ragga, who teaches me all the tricks for a Lopapeysa through her Craftsy class I follow.. Hilly and Carla, the famous Dutch Knitters..always a joy to meet up.. Astrid with her wonderfull yarnstore in Zwolle.. And the proud owners of my LYS "Dol op Wol" : Claudi and Radboud.. And there are many, many more...as: Angelique, Puk, Vera, Agnes, Arja, Nancy, Yvonne, Ellis, Helene, Stephen, Jan-Herman, Jesse, Ted, Kyle, Nelleke, Sandra, Dagmar, Marijke, Rodrigo, Sandra from J&S, Malia, Yvon, Marie-José, Chris, Kate, Jolijn, Marjan, Rachel, Emily, Brent, Janel, Daniel, Tina, Dirkje, Clara, Britta, Rosemary, Meg, Saskia...and...please forgive me if you are not mentioned..but I cherish you all..and next to that the list would be so long... Thank you all so much for your generosity and warmth you all are giving me.. You really are helping me in this stage of my, and our life..it softens up everything.. And ofcourse I am wishing you a Wonderfull Christmas and a Warm and Woolly 2013. Yes, Knitters are Special People... No doubt about that!!
No, I don't want to complain, but I am just happy that the holiday has started. I am tired, really tired from everything which has happened over the last few months. Work was busy and here at home things got slightly more difficult. But we manage sofar...despite the fact that Bram gets weaker.. I know how it will end (we all know don't we?!), but the uncertainty of it all is sometimes hard to deal with for the both of us. There is always fear inside me.. I always get a little nervous when my phone rings while at work. His energy is very low. Sometimes when friends come for a coffee and a chat it can be too much for him, and than he has to go upstairs to take a rest and calm down. Sleep doesn't help for this kind of tiredness. He is tired even after he wakes up in the morning. Without the help of the care of the "Homecare Angels" I am sure he could not stay at home anymore. I try to keep positive and try to do everything with love. I don't mind caring. After all he is my greatest Love. When we got married I promised: for better for worse, for richer for poorer and in sickness and in health. So that is what we do... (Gosh, why am I crying now?) While in Utrecht last week we found and beautiful art project among the canal from the city. It is called: De letters van Utrecht. We walked among this and found it very touching..it came very close to my heart.. Within the situation I am living right now,those kind of things can give comfort and strength..
Here are 2 parts... All of them can be found on the website.
Translated: In our story we naturally disappear and only you are left...