zondag 3 januari 2010

Sometimes the world looks like a fairytale...

This morning I woke up much earlier than usually on Sunday.. 7.30 exactly..We had the plan to go to Groningen to visit our grandson.. but all night it had been snowing..and we decided not to go. It is freezing also so the roads can be difficult and we have a very small car. So hopefully next week. I had a quick look in our garden and..YES.. the world looked like a fairytale. I love snow because all shapes outside change. We had breakfast, I did some knitting and after that I made a long walk among the river Ijssel. I love that river deeply. 10 years ago when I had to stay home for 1 year because of a burn-out I walked everyday among the river. I watched birds and the change of seasons.It did calm me down and I have thrown a lot of sadness into that river. I like streaming water. It can take with it your sorrow and pain. It cleans the soul I always feel. For me this river is very special and will always be. We are very lucky to live a 2 minutes walk from the river. Bram and I used to walk every evening among the river, but since his mobility is very weak we can't do that any more. Last year it was very difficult for me to walk alone. I missed him than. Now I can handle that better. So this long walk went well and I felt really comfortable with myself. I took the little ferry to cross the river. It only takes a few minutes, but it always gives me a kind of holiday feeling..Yes, those things will happen more in the future I guess. At home I made us a nice hot cocoa made from milk and real chocolate (dark and white) which tasted out of this world and much better than made with cocoa powder. Talking about future. We booked a holiday this summer in... Shetland again. Despite the fact that it will be "heavy" for Bram, we decided to give it a go again. We will stay 3 weeks in 2 cottages and perhaps our friend Tiny will come again for 1 week as she did last year..So something to look out for. We got a lovely touching gift from her yesterday. She made this heart. On one side she did embroider: Loveand on the other side: Patience. I will hang it down in our living room and will change side regularly. This week school starts again (for me after 3,5 weeks because of the flu I had). It is good too I think. Being at home is great but to have nice work is also something very positive. My holiday was good. I did finish the sock for the sock book and send it to England. I am very pleased with the result and love the yarn and colour-combo. Might start in spring with a course to become: Art -coach. It is a project by an Art organisation here in Deventer and they bring together firms/ organisations and artists to bring creativity back into the business. I am still thinking about it..I got some nice comments on this from various friends when I told them (that's really something for you!!) I think I am up for that now. I feel I have something to offer and to tell to them. Strange how it sometimes works in life. When I was young (and even 10 years ago) I was having such a low self-esteem. Didn't like the way I looked or acted.. When I found some pictures made in my youth I found out that I was really looking open into the world when I was about 10. After that it changed for me. I got bullied a lot when I was on secondary school and that has made me very uncertain afterwards. When I got the burn-out that point came back in psychotherapy some years later. I had never spoken about it with anyone, not even with Bram or close friends. It was my secret and it was kept in a big closed box. During an EMDR session the box opened and out came the pain and sorrow and I could see it from different angles. Being a different child than my brothers or schoolmates was one of the reasons. Now I feel relieved from that and I am much more in balance. "I am what I am" is a part of the lyrics from a song. But it is true..and I always keep an eye on students who are uncertain or been bullied. It can go deep into somebody's mind and soul. After finishing my socks I finished my gloves and now I just have cast on the "Herbivore" from Stephen West in a beautiful alpaca. It matches nice with my purple "Koolhaas" (still my favourite hat!) and Reddish gloves. Hope to finish the scarf next week.. And.. should have started with it: A Happy, Wonderful and Loving 2010 for all my Dear Readers

10 opmerkingen:

  1. Met een brok in mijn keel heb ik vol ontroering en grote bewondering dit stuk gelezen.
    Wat een eerlijkheid, openheid, wijsheid.
    Stil word ik hiervan.
    Ondanks en dankzij alles wat op je pad gekomen is ben je zo'n wijs en bijzonder mens geworden.
    Zo krachtig, zo sterk, zo bijzonder.

    Stromend door de tijd, stromend water. Scheppend en verschonend.
    Meevoeren, niet tegenstribbelen.
    Nemen zoals het is.
    Zwaar en zo oneerlijk, tranen.
    Helend water, verschoont alle wonden.
    Krachtig water opdat wij leven kunnen in wat wij werkelijk zijn.

  2. Ik hou van je... en ik wens je het mooiste 2010 van iedereen.

  3. Wij wensen jullie all goeds voor 2010 (geluk in tuk)!
    De foto's van de IJssel zijn prachtig, daar heb ik heel veel gevaren toen ik nog in NL woonde. Het water was voor my altijd erg rustgevend, een plaats waar je na kunt denken. Heerlijk.

  4. Na vele jaren de IJssel als afvalput (en zoenrivier) gebruikt te hebben, is de Maas dat nu alweer 10 jaar.
    Het is zo fijn dat het stroomt!
    Heb je voor dat coachproject contact met Harco R.? Zo ja, wil je de groeten doen?


  5. Happy New Year to you too! It's nice to hear that you're in a better place than before.

  6. Jeannette(breit ravelry)7 januari 2010 om 15:37

    Wat een prachtige foto's Jan, en wat een mooi verslag!....
    Gá voor je uitdagingen!, het past bij jou voor zover ik je een heel klein beetje heb mogen leren kennen via je blog en ravelry.
    Héél veel goeds toegewenst voor jullie beiden...
    Hartelijke groet!

  7. Hi, I am also a knitter and am in Deventer for 6 months for work... I would love to meet and have a chat about how you teach, and your life here. It's always nice to meet the locals :)
    Contact me by gmail or by leaving a message on 7lieues.canalblog.com if you are interesting in conversation over coffee and cake?

  8. 人必須心懷希望,才會活的快樂,日子才過得充實,有意義,有朝氣,有信心。........................................

  9. 人自幼就應該通過完美的教育,去建立一種好的習慣。 ..................................................